jacinto classes, demon, LotFP, witch

put a spell on you

What if you didn’t prepare or expend spells and magic was just a bunch of weird tricks that just worked all the time. 

Witch, a class for old school D&D

source unknown. would really like to know who made this.

HP, attack bonus, saving throws, and XP progression as cleric. Equipment restrictions as magic-user.

Witches don’t cast spells. They know minor acts of magic known as arcana. A witch can use any arcanum as much as she wants, though some arcana have situational requirements or material components.

To learn an arcanum, a witch must belong to its School. A witch starts out in a single School of her choice; to be inducted into others, she must find a member and induce them to let her join. A witch can only belong to a number of Schools equal to 1/3 her level, rounded up. Witches do not learn arcana as they level up; they must learn them from books, research, or tutors.

A level 1 witch is a member of a single School and knows 1d3 arcana from it.

School of Knot Making
 It takes 1 exploration turn to tie a knot. I say “string”, but it can be a rope, cord, cable, whatever, as long as it is flexible– a big chain isn’t going to work.

  1. the Hundredweight Knot: once completed, this knot weighs 10×(1d6+level) pounds. 
  2. the Knot of Knowledge: the knot-tier knows when this knot is undone or the string it is tied from breaks.  
  3. the Ineluctable Knot: anyone restrained by this knot cannot slip free from their bonds. If they are strong enough, they can still break their bindings.
  4. the Adamant Knot: any string that bears this knot can only be severed or destroyed through magic. This does not affect the string’s tensile strength–it can still snap if overburdened. 
  5. the Knot of Fascination: anyone attempting to untie this knot must Save vs Magic. If they succeed, they untie at as normal. If they fail, they will continue to attempt to untie it, unaware to their surroundings, until it is physically taken away from them or something particularly compelling or dangerous seizes their attention.
  6. The League Long Knot: this knot takes an hour. Untying it results in a string twice as long as before.

School of Hexwork

  1. If you form a circle with your forefinger and thumb and blow through it into somebody’s face, they must Save vs Poison or catch a wasting disease. It reduces their maximum HP by 1 point each day and prevents all natural healing.
  2. If you extend your index and middle fingers, they function as a strong and sharp dagger
  3. If you form a circle with your middle finger and thumb, any object dropped inside will vanish until you pull it back out. You can store as many items as you want (that fit through this circle, obviously), but retrieving an item takes a number of exploration turns equal to the number of objects stored.
  4. By shaving your head and burying your hair, you can sterilize all soil and spoil all wells in a quarter mile radius around the burial site until the hair is removed or the curse lifted by magic.
  5. If you burn somebody’s teeth in a fire, they take d12 damage for every tooth burned. Save vs magic for half damage. 
  6. You can swallow fire and keep it in your belly. You can only keep one flame at a time. You can either vomit up the fire to ignite something or spit it at an enemy (10 ft ranged attack) to deal damage. A lantern flame deals d4 damage, a torch flame deals d6, a bonfire deals d12.

School of Maskmaking

from dorohedoro

You can make magic masks from the corpses of creatures you’ve killed personally. Wearing these masks allows you to polymorph into the creature for a number of turns equal to your level, at which point the mask breaks and you resume your natural form. A mask takes up a number of significant items equal to 1+half HD, rounded down, and requires an hour to make.

School of Summoning

    1. You can make spirit traps from the corpses of creatures you’ve killed personally. Once you’ve made the spirit trap, you can summon the creature’s ghost whenever you like. It is immaterial and vanishes back into the afterlife if it leaves your line of sight. Spirits must answer any question you ask them, but only have a 4-in-6 chance of answering honestly (5-on-6 if you have exceptional Charisma).Summoning a spirit takes 1 turn.
    2. You can summon a minor demon in the form of a nine-eyed crow. If you feed it a drop of someone’s blood, it will tell you what they most desire. It will not perform any other service for you, but will do its best to convince you to perform evil acts as long as it stays in this world.
    3. You can summon a minor demon in the form of a black, furred serpent. If you feed it a lock of somebody’s hair, it will tell you their most shameful secret. It will not perform any other service for you, but will do its best to convince you to perform evil acts as long as it stays in this world
    4. You can summon a demon of middling power to guard you. It adores you, utterly and stupidly, and will attack anyone who threatens you (or seems to threaten you) with suicidal ferocity. It has a number of HD equal to half your level, rounded down (minimum 1), and if it dies it cannot be summoned again for a number of days equal to its HD. Summoning and dismissing it takes 1 exploration turn.

    School of Dancing
    Magic dances are exhausting. For every turn you spend dancing, make a Constitution check. If you fail, take 1 point of Constitution damage. This damage heals at a rate of 1 point per week.

    1. Dance of Change: When you complete this dance, you may polymorph into a mundane animal with an HD of one or less. The transformation lasts for as long as you danced or until you choose to revert to your true form.
    2. Shatter Dance: Completing this dance breaks every mundane piece of glass within a number of feet equal to 10 times the number of Turns spent dancing.
    3. Dark Dance: Completing this dance extinguishes every torch, lamp, or other light source within a number of feet equal to 10 times the number of Turns spent dancing.
    4. Vorpal Dance: This dance ends by tracing a finger or toe across a flat surface. This creates a cut with a depth in inches equal to twice the number of turns you danced, regardless of material. 
    5. Arson Dance: When you perform this dance indoors, no fire within that structure can be extinguished until you leave or stop dancing. This may work in a limited area (such as a single story or wing) in very large buildings.   
    6. Wind Dance: As per Stormspeech. Lasts until you stop dancing.
      jacinto classes, LotFP, new age dnd, san serafín, type v

      having the time of your life

      Been playing Shantae. Aggressively nostalgic, exceedingly Crayola, surprisingly excellent. Been have interested in playing it since it came out for the Game Boy Color. Anyway, it has me thinking about dancing. Also been thinking about Gus L’s Imperial Cultists. So here’s a prancing bardlike that mashes the two together.

      from Etrian Odyssey


      Dancers

      from black swan

      HP, attack bonus and XP as Cleric. Saves and Equipment as Thief.

      Dancers perform magic dances, which aren’t memorized and forgotten like spells–they can be attempted as often as the dancer wishes.

      Each Dance function like Lamentations of the Flame Princess skill. You start out with a 1-in-6 chance of succeeding on checks pertaining to the relevant dance, but you can increase the odds of success with skill points. At level 1, you start out with 4 skill points to allocate however you wish; every time you level up, you gain 2 more. You can only improve Dances you’ve learned, naturally. A Dance cannot exceed a 5-in-6 chance of success. If all of this is too complicated for you, just use the thief’s Hear Noise skill odds for all known dances.

      Dances always work, but for every turn you perform a Dance, you must make a check with the relevant skill. If you succeed, you continue your performance unfazed; if you fail, you take a level of exhaustion. (There are a lot of ways to do this. In my games, for each level of exhaustion, you suffer a -1 penalty to all attribute, attack, and skill rolls, and move as if you were encumbered by an additional level. If you roll a negative number on a roll while exhausted or reach a movement speed of 0, you fall unconscious for d4 Turns. Eating a ration and resting for a Turn removes one level of exhaustion.) When you are dancing, you move no faster than 30′. If you are struck by an attack while dancing, you must make a Save vs Breath or end the dance.

      from Shantae

      Dances
      You begin play knowing two Mysterious Dances dances. To acquire more, you must find them in your travels. Learning a dance from a tutor takes a week. Learning a dance from written instructions takes a month.

      Mysterious Dances

      • Arson Dance: When you perform this dance indoors, no fire within that structure can be extinguished until you leave or stop dancing. This may work in a limited area (such as a single story or wing) in very large buildings. 
      • Vorpal Dance: This dance ends by tracing a finger or toe across a flat surface. This creates a cut with a depth in inches equal to twice the number of turns you danced, regardless of material. 
      • Murder Dance: For each round you perform this dance, every creature that can see you takes d6 necrotic damage as they slowly crumble to dust; they can Save vs Spell for half damage
      • Scandal Dance: Any creature that sees you perform this dance must Save vs Spells or pay attention to nothing else but you for as long as you continue to dance. This does not change its disposition towards you. 
      • Shatter Dance: Completing this dance breaks every mundane piece of glass within a number of feet equal to 10 times the number of Turns spent dancing.  
      • Dark Dance: Completing this dance extinguishes every torch, lamp, or other light source within a number of feet equal to 10 times the number of Turns spent dancing.

      Forbidden Dances
      Known to no one. Can only be learned from forgotten texts.

      • Bone Dance: animates a number of HD of undead equal to half your level, rounded up. They obey your spoken commands until you stop dancing, at which point they go berserk.
      • Wind Dance: As per Stormspeech. Lasts until you stop dancing. 
      • Dance of Monstrosity: As per Summon. Replace all mention of caster level with number of turns spent dancing.
      • Dance of Change: When you complete this dance, you may polymorph into a mundane animal of your choice with HD equal to or less than half your level. The transformation lasts for as long as you danced or until you choose to revert to your true form. 
      • Immolation Dance: Performing this dance sets you on fire and makes you immune to all heat and flame. Any creature in melee range of you takes d6 damage, and you ignite every flammable thing you pass by. Ceasing to dance ends your immunity to heat, but it doesn’t douse you. 
      • Prominence Dance: For as long as you perform this dance, the Sun shines overhead as if it were noon. Only works outdoors
      • Nocturne Dance: For as long as your perform this dance, the sky darkens and the stars shine as if it were midnight. Only works outdoors.
      from Magi

      So the idea behind all of this is you have multiple pressures on the character, most of which revolve around the overloaded encounter die/Hazard System.

      • Rations encumber you, but let you reduce exhaustion.
      • Exhaustion reduces the amount of stuff you can carry (including rations) and makes you more likely to fail dances, which exhausts you more
      • Dancing takes time, which makes encounters and complications more likely, which might require more dances to resolve.
      • Armor makes it safer to use dances in combat, but leaves you less room for rations and makes you even slower while you dance.
        jacinto Uncategorized

        sunliiiiiiiiight

        I haven’t played Boktai in years, but I still think about. A bizarre little game, but totally charming and actually pretty excellent.

        The setting is vampire-ridden science fantasy post-apocalypse Mexico, though it goes in different directions than what you’re probably thinking right now. A lot of wacky pastiche in the style of Japanese video games–the other aesthetic influences are Norse mythology and spaghetti Westerns.

        El Sur

        Two hundred years after the last agent of the Empire fled east back over the sea, they returned on black barges that slid over the ocean without sails. They were different this time, bloodless rather than pale, armed with an ugly magic that blotted out the sun and raised their predecessors from forgotten graves. They were vampires, the very same princelings and governors that had been defeated in life two centuries ago, transformed during their exile, coming back to claim what they lost when they yet lived.

        They did not find El Sur so easy to conquer a second time. They made it to San Miguel, the ancient City of the Sun, where they rule to this day, but they have not been able to occupy any more territory. The Queen and her armies contain them, but there is much to be done. There is a constant need for itinerant exorcists and monster hunters in the hinterlands, as the vampires send their agents there to sabotage rightful rule. The great tracts of sunless, vampire-blighted lands to the east are fertile ground for saboteurs and adventurers looking for foreign gold and alien magic.

        The vampires use silent black-metal machinery to blot out the sun and fly overhead on funureal barges. They tax the blood of their subjects for their own purposes and deface the holy city of San Miguel with immense necromantic diagrams. Their servants are known as the Sanguinaires.

        The Queen and her forces keep the vampire in check, using devices stolen and adapted from the Old World to call forth the sun. Their allies are the Children of the Sun, heliomancers who worship gods from before the First Invasion, and the Knights del Sol, gunslinging exorcists who destroy vampires with strange machines.

        And here’s a paladin oath, I guess.

        Oath del Sol
        Brave gunslingers from the city of San Miguel, formed to defend humanity against an ancient court of vampires. They use strange machines to circumvent the defenses of their otherwise immortal enemies.

        The Knights del Sol value cunning, bravery, and determination, but what they treasure most of all is results.

        Oath Spells
        1st level: earth tremor, create or destroy water
        2nd level: gentle repose, dust devil
        3rd level: plant growth, speak with dead
        4th level: control water, conjure minor elementals
        5th level:  control winds, commune with nature

        Gun del Sol
        Starting at 3rd level, you gain proficiency with firearms. You also can designate any non-thrown ranged weapon as your Gun del Sol (even if it isn’t actually a gun. It’s tradition) Your Gun del Sol can fire sunlight projectiles. Doing so doesn’t require ammunition, but the sunlight behaves as the projectile would (so sunlight fired from bows have the same range and trajectory as arrows, and so on) and deals no damage unless natural sunlight would. However, you can use your Divine Smite ability to empower attacks made this way.

        If your Gun del Sol is lost or destroyed, you must spend 8 hours modifying another non-thrown ranged weapons with divine machinery to replace it. A Gun del Sol only works for its particular Knight.

        If you take a short rest in a sunny place, you can use Divine Smite at the highest available spell level on your next attack with the Gun del Sol without expending any spell slots.

        Messenger of the Sun
        At 3rd level, you acquire the Find Familiar ritual. In addition to the normal familiars you can use it to summon a sprite. This familiar is fully sentient regardless of type and immune to radiant damage. You receive advantage on (Arcana), Intelligence (Religion), or Intelligence (History) check pertaining to fiends or undead when you talk it out with your familiar.

        Solar Engineer
        At 7th level, you learn how to make lenses. Fitting a lens into your Gun del Sol takes 10 minutes, and changes the damage it deals when you empower it with Divine Smite. When You can learn how to make two lenses from the following list:

        • Ruby Lens: You learn the Control Flames cantrip. When you fit this lens into your Gun, you have resistance to cold damage and your Divine Smite deals fire damage when used to empower your Gun’s attacks.
        • Seaglass Lens: You learn the Shape Water cantrip. When you fit this lens into your Gun, you have resistance to fire damage and your Divine Smite deals cold damage when used to empower your Gun’s attacks.
        • Rare Earth Lens: You learn the Mold Earth cantrip. When you fit this lens into your Gun, you have resistance to lightning damage and your Divine Smite deals acid damage when used to empower your Gun’s attacks.
        • Quartz Lens: You learn the Gust cantrip. When you fit this lens into your Gun, you have resistance to acid damage and your Divine Smite deals lightning damage when used to empower your Gun’s attacks.
        • Lunar Lens: You learn the Friends cantrip. When you fit this lens into your Gun, you have resistance to radiant damage and your Divine smite deals psychic damage when used to empower your Gun’s attacks.

        Piledriver
        Starting at 15th level, as an action you can summon the Piledriver, a divine machine designed to destroy wicked immortals. When you do so, you raise a circle of 6 pillars from the earth. The pillars are of Medium size and have 75 HP and 14 AC. The circle’s radius cannot exceed 60 ft. Within the Piledriver, fiends and undead suffer disadvantage on all saving throws. More importantly, anyone and anything who dies in this area is dead forever, laid to rest beyond the reach of magic. Vampires, liches, death knights, and spirit nagas, and even gods are all subject to the Piledriver’s effect. The effect only lasts while all Piledriver pillars stand, and ends after an hour. Your Divine Smite ability heals Piledriver pillars. You must take a long rest before you can use this ability again.

        Extra Lens
        At 15th level, you gain an extra lens from the list above.

        Prominence
        At 20th level, you can summon a minor aspect of the Sun. Once per long rest, you can cast sunburst without a material component. For an hour afterwards, a miniature sun hangs directly overhead, shedding sunlight as bright as if it were noon in a 1 mile radius around the epicenter of the sunburst. This works indoors and underground, but the miniature Sun will be outside.

        Extra Lens
        At 20th level, you gain an extra lens from the list above.

        jacinto type v

        monster of the week

        one of my players is grumpy I disallow darkvision in my 5e game, so here’s a proposal for him.

        Dark Elves

        by asher levine

        unseelie freaks, troglobite fairies, bad-dream cousins of the elves. They are just as beautiful as their surface-swelling relatives, save that they have no eyes. the ones who live deep beneath the Earth are worm-belly white, while the ones who live in caves and venture to the surface are shades of dark grey. Their clothes and art are heavily textured, because they cannot truly see. Their fashion is designed to disturb those who can; their Knights Verso wear backwards armor and paint eyes on the back of their head.

        The ruler of the dark elves is Lord Fathom, who dwells at the bottom of the earth. He knows what the dead know–every soul passing on to the Hereafters must give him a single secret. His honor guard is Lord Fathom’s Forty, the evilest, strangest, and most powerful of the dark elves. They are renowned and hated on the surface, famous for stealing the Little Moon and killing the Red Dragon and the White Worm.

        • Ability Score Increase: Your Dexterity score increases by 2 and your Charisma score increases by 1
        • Age: Around 700.
        • Alignment: Whatever you please
        • Size: Your size is Medium. Because your skeleton is cartilaginous, you can squeeze through spaces as a Small creature. 
        • Speed:  Your move speed is 30 ft.
        • Weird Knowledge: You cannot see, but you have blindsight out to 30 feet.
        • Keen Senses: You have proficiency in the Perception skill. When you make a Wisdom (Perception) check to smell something, add double your proficiency bonus.
        • Fey Ancestry: You have advantage on saving throws against being charmed, and magic can’t put you to sleep.
        • Sleep: You can’t sleep, no matter how much you want to. You instead slip into a semiconscious fever dream; 4 hours counts as 8 hours of sleep, and you remain aware of your surroundings during this time. 
        • Languages: You speak English/Common and Ara Gorash/Deep Speech. You can only read textured scripts, because you are blind. This is rare on the surface.
        • Sunlight Sensitivity: You have disadvantage on all checks, saving throws, and attack rolls in direct sunlight. Shade and heavy clothing remove this effect.
        • Uncanny: You can cast the Thaumaturgy cantrip.
        jacinto angels, new age dnd, type v

        torch songs

        I don’t like how genasi + aasimar + tieflings are so taxonomical. They could do with being a bit more vague about what high fantasy Paracelsian interpretation they map onto. They could also do to be a but more like Kill Six Billion Demons. 

        Aasimar/Fire Genasi

        Angels are eternal conflagrations of heatless nuclear flame. They mostly exist in the Void, where they sing endless atomic songs and contemplate their own immanence. Those unfortunate humans descended from angels are aasimar. They are as much flesh as fire, their blood and breath and soul replaced by a single nuclear pneuma that sustains them even as it slowly consumes their bodies.

        from kill six billion demons
        • Age: Aasumar live as long as elves. As they age, they become more beautiful, more alien, and more rarefied as their heavenly fire slowly burns away all trace of their temporality. 
        • Alignment: Whatever
        • Speed:  30 ft
        • Languages: English/Common and Enochian/Celestial
        • Ability Score Increases: Your Constitution score increases by 1. Your Wisdom score increases by 2.
        • Rarefied: You are immune to disease and poison and do not breathe. You keep your fire-self burning with sacred oils and blessed incense (function as wine and rations in terms of cost and encumbrance) for fuel. You need to “eat” and “drink” half as much as a human. 
        • Meditation: Though you do not sleep, you must spend 4 hours a day contemplating the Void or find yourself slowly drawn back there in a state that conveniently mirrors human exhaustion. You are fully aware of your surroundings in this state.
        • Radioactive: You can cast the Produce Flame cantrip
        • Body of Fire: You have resistance to radiant damage
        jacinto classes, type v

        by the pricking of my thumbs

        Been stuck on Arthur Asa’s Scarlet Hare Coven and now I want witchy druids. So here they are.

        Circle of the Night
        Eschewing the hippy bullshit of the more orthodox druids, members of the Circle of the Night treat nature and its magic as much a matter of study as a matter of religious obligation. They have a generally unsavory reputation, famous for trafficking with malign fey and the darker forces of the natural world.

        Bonus Cantrip
        Starting at 2nd level, you learn one cantrip of your choice from the Wizard list. The attribute for this cantrip is Wisdom.

        Dark Knowledge
        Starting at 2nd level, you can inscribe magical rituals onto your skin. Pick two 1st level spells from any class list that have the ritual tag. You can always cast these spells as rituals, and they do not count against spells you know or have prepared. If you find other ritual spells during your adventures, you can tattoo them onto yourself, though you can only cast it if its spell level is equal to your less than half your Druid level. This process takes 50 gp and 2 hours.You can fit as many rituals as you like onto yourself.

        Unbreakable Vow
        Starting at 6th level, anyone who signs a contract with or swears an oath to you must make a Wisdom save vs your spell save DC in order to break its terms. They only must follow the letter, not the spirit of the agreement. Paradoxical promises are null and void. 

        Witch’s Garden
        Starting at 10th level, you acquire a garden in the form of a 1 acre demiplane. Its exact nature, climate, and contents are a matter between you and your DM. The garden is never more than half a day’s travel away, no matter where you go or where you are. Only you know the way there, though others can follow you (even without your knowledge)

        Maleficence
        Starting at 14th level, you can expend both uses of your Wild Shape ability to turn into an Adult Dragon with the chroma of your choice for 10 minutes. This transformation otherwise follows all Wild Shape rules.

        jacinto new age dnd, type v

        have a great summer

        Aarakocra are too hard to say, too hard to spell, and bird people don’t do it for me, generally. I do like that they have one, primary ability that’s really good instead of a smattering of smaller talents that are easy to forget and/or hard to track. So it’s time to reskin them.

        Yaga, a race for Type V D&D

        from spirited away

        A yaga is something like an elf, something like an ogre. They are flying witch-people, known for making their homes in the remotest and most inhospitable places: swamps, glaciers, mountainsides. The traditionalists among them are ritual cannibals, grinding the bones of their enemies to leaven their bread and seasoning soup with their marrow.

        The yaga are children of monstrosity, and few look similar. They can be shorter than 4 feet or taller than 6; some are hunched and clawed while others look quite human. All have vestigial wings, though the more modern ones conceal them under their clothes.

        from howl’s moving castle

        Yaga from the motherland favor warlocks over wizards and druids over clerics, preferring the Old Powers of the earth to unreliable novelties like literacy and organized religion (though obviously you can pick any class you want). Their couriers are the best in the business.

        • Ability Score Increase: Your Constitution, Charisma, and Wisdom each increase by 1
        • Age: Yaga live as long as elves, but they don’t stop aging. The eldest of the yaga look like living bog mummies.
        • Alignment: ????
        • Size: Medium. The yaga vary greatly in size and shape. Some are small and stooped, others are towering and bestial, some nearly look human.
          • Base height: 3’8″
          • Height Modifier: +d30
          • Base Weight: 65 lb.
          • Weight modifier: ×2d6
        • Speed: Your base walking speed in 25 ft
        • Flight: You have a base flying speed of 50 ft. You can’t fly if you are wearing medium or heavy armor. This isn’t some Magneto levitation shit, though–sharp turns and hovering in place are tough.You can’t cast spells or make attacks while flying.
        • Witchery: You can cast the Prestidigitation cantrip
          • Language: You know Common/English and Mance, the language of witches
          from odin sphere
          from legend of zelda: windwaker

          jacinto adventures, afternoon espresso, angels, megadungeon murder mystery, monsters, san serafín, table

          XIII

          This is kind of an experiment. Every session there is a 1 in 6 chance of one of these things coming up or being mentioned or whatever. It’s a conspiracy generator. Not the best format, but it was fun to write so whatever.

          by Dominic Alves, distributed under CC

          I
          There is a god, and its name is Thirteen. It is the lord of inversion and the architect of misfortune; its clerics wear yellow and hold power over doppelgangers, oozes, and devils. The Constables hunt its worshipers like animals, but there always seems to be more.

          by Jerry Kirkhart, distributed under CC

          II
          There is a society, and nobody knows its name or its members. Everyone who matters has gone to one of their parties–they only invite thirteen people at a time, and it’s terribly difficult to secure an invitation. Sometimes people don’t come back, but that just makes it all the more exciting, doesn’t it?

          III
          There is a city where nobody goes, a city of sepulchers, a city by the sea. You can’t find it on a map, and no matter how far you travel, you won’t ever reach it. Some priests say the gods cut it out of this world like a tumor, but if you take a certain route, passing through certain cursed doorways and traversing certain cursed crossroads, you will arrive on one of its thirteen grand avenues, which intersect in the center like a spider’s web or a perverse star. The dead hang by cables from the telephone wires.

          IV
          There is a man by the side of the road, and he is shouting at you. He speaks of an angel with thirteen wings and a hydra with thirteen heads. He says he will be dead soon, but this is a thing that you all must know.

          V
          You found a book about a crow with thirteen eyes, scattered across its face like any ugly constellation. It is terrible old and utterly malign: a colossal rival of dragons, a gleeful anthropophage, a bearer of curses. It steals children from their parents, raises them and loves them with all its evil heart. They don’t grow up human.

          by Anne-Sophie Leens, distributed under CC

          VI
          There is a syndicate with thirteen captains. They traffic in drugs, slaves, and precious metals; they are undercutting just about every major player in the city. Nobody can figure out who their suppliers are, or where their shipments are coming from, but everyone wants them gone. The Weaver’s Guild has placed a colossal bounty on the heads of their leaders, but it’s only resulted in a lot of dead assassins.

          VII
          Somebody murdered a Saint of Honey and Salt, carving a thirteen-pointed star into their chest. The local House has promised blood, and rumor has it they’ve had to purge their ranks of spies, though the details are fuzzy on who they were working for.

          VIII
          This buried and desecrated temple is the home to thirteen warlocks:

          • Gog and Magog, the hateful witch-children, each of which draws magic from the other
          • Illhammer, who casts spells with a mace fashioned from a devil’s femur
          • The Perfect Child of Man, who wears a yellow hood. The emissary of a god-city exiled from this world
          • Ratbelly, the red eyed waif, bound by her own oaths to the Forbidden Hour, which once sat between midnight and 1 a.m
          • Catbelly: the neurasthenic malefic, carried on a silk palanquin by 5 horned skeletons and empowered by a devil of smoke and blue fire
          • Murderboy: he walks on ceilings and weeps black tar; he was raised by a spider the size of a school bus that still sings him to sleep
          • Toothgirl: a creeping obsessive, built a god of neon tubes and rat bones that tells her who to kill
          • Gurn: she can unhinge her jaw like a snake and spit out almost anything she wants; cursed by her mother to be killed by a weapon of her own making.
          • Mammon: everything he does looks awkward and wrong, like a dog walking on its hind legs or a man running on all fours. A centipede lives in his clothes that teaches him the secrets of secret-eating and memory-killing
          • Nadir: wild haired troglodyte who lives at the bottom of a hole, which moves around when nobody’s looking. Sold her soul to a gravity angel, so she can’t pick herself off the ground.
          • Maculata: jelly-fleshed voyeur with a visible skeleton; holds congress with puddings, oozes, and jellies of all sorts.
          • Maastricht: a wretched old man with metal teeth, his pact with Satan makes him nigh omnipotent; his secret weakness is that he can only move when you’re looking at him

          IX
          There’s a series of thirteen pamphlets everyone’s reading. They make you remember things you’d forgotten, give you advice that makes you feel smart and capable and stronger, they make you forget your own inadequacy and weakness and stupidity, they make you want to find the other pamphlets, but they’re so hard to find and you can’t figure out where they come from. Everyone says something wonderful happens if you read all thirteen.

          I’m tired of writing now. I’ll probably write more and I want to find a d13 for this.

          jacinto assassins, classes, is this gonna work, LotFP, monks, san serafín

          Love and War

          Having taken a closer look at Swords and Wizardry Complete, I have come to the conclusion that assassins are boring and monks are dumb. This is somewhat inspired by +Arnold K.‘s excellent post on void monks.

          Saint of Honey and Salt
          a class for old school D&D-likes

          HP and XP as Magic-users
          Attack bonus and saves as Clerics

          Also called Las Basiliscas, the Velvet People, Pretty Poisoners, Beauty Monks

          Each major city has a House of Honey and Salt, which acts as the home and headquarters of all Saints in the region. These Houses are temple-brothel-hospitals; few injuries or illnesses are beyond the flesh-crawling curatives of the Saints, though they charge a high price.

          Saints are the enemies of the medusae, the drow, and the Weaver’s Guild. Their cousins are the vampires. They have treaties with the basilisks, dryads, nymphs, succubi, and shadows. Saints make servants of bees and flesh golems.

          Saints have a reputation for espionage, though nobody knows where their interests lie. They’re that good. A nation’s monarch having a Saint in their court is viewed the same way as having a child king or a doddering regent: a sign of instability and bad things to come.

          The dogma of the Saints is Love and their doctrine is Spite. A Saint cannot wield weapons and must avoid inflicting pain wherever possible (This is interpreted liberally. The Saints as an organization make extensive use of poisons, and have no problem telling their underlings to do exceedingly painful things to their enemies). Saints also cannot wear armor, as it conceals their bodies.

          from full metal alchemist

          A Saint is like this:
          You’re always a little flushed, a little feverish, though you never seem to sweat. The whites of your eyes have no blood vessels, you tongue and lips are red; your hair is albino white or the iridescent black of crow feathers or else it shines like the sun on the sea etc etc. You look like the fervid imaginings of a court poet or a Raymond Chandler character or the lover of a hero from antiquity.

          • While you suffer the physical effects of old age like anyone else, you always appear to be in the full flush of youth. 
          • You are thoroughly trained in the arts of dancing, singing, and/or acting. 
          • Your Charisma score increases by 1 every time you gain a level, to a maximum 18. If you wish, you can use your Charisma score in place of your armor class.
          • You can make somebody’s blood weep painlessly out of their skin by touching them, flesh to flesh. A hand’s worth of coverage deals d6 damage (and requires an attack roll in combat, assuming they aren’t completely covered). More area of contact deals more damage, to a maximum of d20. This makes grappling with you very dangerous. Looks sort of like this:
          by Bernypisa, distributed under Creative Commons

          Level 2: Sweet Nothings
          You can cast Suggestion at will by whispering into somebody’s ear for a full round, close enough that they can feel your breath on their face.

          Level 3: Fascination

          You can Charm someone by kissing them. They must be willing or restrained, and they get a saving throw. People Charmed in this way become obsessive, withdrawn, feverish, and Detect as Chaotic and/or Evil.
          Level 4: Fountain of Youth
          During downtime, you can prepare a special bath of animal hormones, plant extracts, and generally weird drugs that

          • cures diseases
          • restores lost limbs
          • removes deformities, like scars, tumors, and dermal fungal colonies

          This bath costs 1,000 gp and works for a single person. You might have trouble finding the ingredients in backwater areas, though you can haul them around if you so choose; they count as 2 significant items. 

          Level 5: Carnation

          You can spend a downtime action to change your appearance. You can’t radically alter your body plan (so you can’t become a quadruped or grow new limbs or change your arms to wings) or mimic a particular person, but you can change your build, posture, sex, pigmentation, and so on. 

          Level 6: Pretty Poison

          If you consume a poison or drug and survive, you become immune to its effects. Furthermore, consuming a poison or drug to which you are immune allows you to preserve it in your body for d6 Turns. Anything that eats you (or at least a significant chunk) isn’t going to be feeling so great after, and your bodily fluids work as a contact poison of the same type, though victims get a +3 to saving throws against it in this form. Saint Malvada defeated the Blue Iron King by spitting into his eye, then getting his pet dragon to eat her arm.

          Level 7:
          You can read someone’s mind as per ESP by staring into their eyes for a full round. They can feel you reading their mind, so usually they must be restrained or otherwise unable to look away. 

          Level 8: All Shall Love Me and Despair
          Once a day, you can issue a Mass Command. (As Command, but afflicts everyone in earshot)

          Level 9: House of Honey and Salt
          You found your own House of Honey and Salt and gain 2d6 disciples.

          Level 10: Only Lovers Left Alive
          Once per day, you can kill someone with fewer HD than you have levels by touching their bare chest with your forefinger. No save.

          christian dior
          from fire emblem awakening
          jacinto Carcosa, LotFP

          Postal Service of Carcosa

          In the beginning, when the Primordial Ones constructed their first cities, there was Mail. They sent missives and read them, and thus they prospered.
          When the Primordial Ones and their works fell to monstrosity, the Great People took to the business of civilization, and so there was Mail. They sent missives and read them, and thus they prospered.
          When the Great People and their works diminished into nothingness, the Serpent People bent their sorceries to the task of civilization, and so there was Mail. They sent missives and read them, and thus they prospered.
          The Serpent People and their works are gone now. The world is gone dark and strange, and monsters revel in the wilderness. We are small and few and harried, but so long as we live, there is Mail. We send missives and read them, and thus will we prosper.

           Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.

          by diamond-mind, distributed under Creative Commons

          When the Thirteen Peoples of Carcosa murder, devour, and enslave each other, when sorcerers build their power on mountains of sacrifices, when horrors beyond the comprehension of the People slither through the desecrated ruins of civilization, you keep the faith. You remember the Charter. You deliver the Mail.

          Create characters as normal for Carcosa.

          • Sorcerers can’t learn nasty Carcosa rituals, but they can cast spells from Silent Legions (if they manage to find any). 
          • You may also choose Specialist as a class.

          Players start out in the castle in Hex 1512, ruled by the Lawful Purple Sorcerer known as the Postmaster General. Their first mission is to travel to Carcosa and swear their oath of service upon the steps of the First Office.