jacinto Uncategorized

Horticulture of the Unknown

There are a crazy number of magic statues in Isle of the Unknown, so I want to have several different location replacements to make things more varied. Having dozens and dozens of graveyards is a bit much, even for an awful zombie island.

Tree by blmiers2 on Flickr. Creative Commons license.

A single tree has 1d6 pieces of fruit/usable pieces of wood/doses of sap. Fruit goes bad in 3d6 days, unless somehow preserved.

  1. Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil: transplant stolen from an abandoned paradise. Whoever eats its fruit can choose to become a Chaotic Level 1 Cleric, keeping all of their other attributes and abilities, but never again leveling up in their old class.
  2. Tree of Life: another tree snatched from the First Garden. Whoever eats its fruit no longer ages, naturally or magically, but can still die from sickness, violence, and poison. They will be hated by all holy people and creatures.
  3. Skull Peach Tree: peach tree planted on the site of a terrible massacre. Bears large, succulent fruit with pits shaped like human skulls. If eaten, the peaches causes 24 hours of temporary undeath (Curing magic harms, harming magic heals, sunlight deals d4 damage a round, Turn Undead works, and non-sentient undead ignore unless attacked). The pits are valued by sorcerers of all sorts.
  4. Wormwood is a fruit-bearing tree on the Isle of the Undead. It is a supernaturally powerful purgative; whoever eats its berries is beset by sweating, weeping, and vomiting (lasts d20 rounds, no save). However, it also removes all poisons and tainted food from the victim’s system, even if they have already begun to take effect.
  5. Ebon Apple Tree: Completely, perfectly matte black apple tree. Whoever eats this apple can make a Saving Throw against the next hostile spell cast on them. If it would allow for a saving throw anyway, they can make two.
  6. Sin Fig: fig tree with a tap root reaching down into Hell. Eating one of its figs causes d6 damage to Wisdom, and an equal increase to a single random attribute that isn’t Wisdom.
  7. Spitefruit: pale green fruit with a bitter, stringy pulp. Resents being eaten. Those who do so have the fruit’s personality take up residence in their brain. It performs petty crimes when they sleep.
  8. Greater Driftwood: piece of driftwood brought to false life with necromancy. Instruments made from its wood can attract or repel the undead, especially the drowned.
  9. Jackal Pear: eating a Jackal Pear turns a person’s head into that of a wild dog. Does not interfere with speech; gives them an acute sense of smell but a sensitivity to sound.
  10. Tree of Idol: Grown up around a pagan idol. Someone who possesses a part of the tree can ask the heathen spirit a question about (1-Necromancy; 2-Vampirism; 3-The History of the Isle; 4-Dragons; 5-The Old Gods; 6-Nature) but there is a 1 in 6 chance it will tell a destructive lie and a separate 1 in 6 chance it will demand recompense.
  11. Mandragora: Planted on the grave of a criminal. Screams when cut. If a doll is carved from its wood, it will serve as a loyal, if barely sane, familiar. Its consciousness is formed from a dead man’s id. Name (1-Phfuck; 2-Plop; 3- Corn Nut; 4- Diggum; 5-Chico; 6- Chicken Dinner)
  12. Dark Mulberry: its berries are unremarkable, but silk produced by the worms that feed on this tree has a shadowy, dim quality, giving those who wear it a +1 to Stealth rolls (or +15% if you aren’t using an x in 6 system)
  13. Ootalisk Cedar: Cultivar from  the Fossil City of Ootalisk. A mask fashioned from its wood allows the wearer to speak an additional language; each tree is associated with a different tongue.
  14. Tenebrous Myrrh: produces a dark incense beloved by liches and vampires. Went burnt, this tree’s resin creates a rich black smoke that smothers all light it touches, regardless of intensity or source.
  15. Acanthus Gum Tree: its sap is as addictive as it is dangerous. Every time after the first time someone has consumed acanthus sap, they must Save vs Poison or be addicted. Once addicted, they lose 1 point of Strength and 1 point of Wisdom for every day they do not consume at least 1 dose of acanthus sap. Every time someone consumes the sap, they recover lost attributes due to withdrawal, and must Save vs Poison or be changed by the drug, gaining +1 cumulative to AC and -1 cumulative to Dexterity as their skin becomes gnarled and bark-like. If their Dexterity reaches 0 they turn into an Acanthus Gum Tree.
  16. Rose Tree: Plucking a rose from this tree summons a Knight of the Rose (Level 5 fighter, platemail, longsword). The summoner can give the Knight a single task, which they will carry out unerringly, but if they die in the line of duty, the will return as a far more dangerous Knight of the Thorn to extract revenge upon their former master.
  17. Suntree: a tree killed and then reanimated with unsavory magic. Produces chloroplasm, a substance that can bring the wounded and ill back from the brink of death. Has many exciting side effects.
  18. Petrified Tree: trapped inside ever petrified tree on the Isle is a skeletal sage, who, if rescued, will truthfully answer a single question out of gratitude. Aside from this, they are all terribly wicked, and capable of the greatest of perfidy.
  19. Revenant Grove: Circle of twisted black trees. Anyone buried amongst them will rise again as a cruel and powerful wight.
  20. Barrow Tree: enormous redwood planted over a barrow. If killed or removed, the ancient king or queen buried inside will break free from their bindings and attempt to reform their kingdom. 
jacinto Uncategorized

Graveyards of the Unknown

Not a huge fan of the magic statues from the Isle of the Unknown. They start to feel a same after a while, especially because there are so many of them. So I am replacing them with several different kinds of locations, the first being graveyards.

by Zdzisław Beksiński

The dead and buried
1-90: 2d100 regular humans
91: d1000 regular humans
92: 2d12 demons
93: 2d10 dragons
94: d10 members of a race of antediluvian giants
95: d6 demigods
96: d20 infamous murderers
97: d4 wicked sages
98: 2d6 martyred saints
99. 2d100 empty graves
100. 2d100 zombies, trapped in their coffins 

The atmosphere
1. Hideous Gothic confection: spikes and gargoyles and gurning cherubs, lots of mist
2. Uncanny. Gaunt angels with too many limbs, eyes and hands and mouths carved everywhere. Quiet voices on the wind.
3. Orderly. Smooth gravestones on a manicured lawn.
4. Decrepit. Illegible and crumbling gravestones, partially dug-up graves, scattered bones.
5. Verdant. Grass, flowers, creeping vines, trees.
6. Withered. Packed, dry ground. Dead trees. Blowing dust.
7.  Religious. Crosses everywhere, church in the center. Statues of angels and saints.
8. Occupied. Houses among the tombs.
  
What lives unlives is loose in this graveyard?
1: Pack of wolves, living with a commune of feral huners.
2: Magic-users training to become bona fide necromancers
4: An assassin cult
5: A merchant from the Lands of the Dead, with his spectral guards
6: Grave-digging bandit gang
7:  A Vampire and its charmed servants
8: An adept Necromancer. 1 in 6 chance they have established themselves and started raising the graveyard’s inhabitants.
9: A Warrior-Priest(ess) and a cult of fervid followers, guarding against looters and witches
10: Roll twice. They’re fighting!

What is important here ?
1. A necromantic source of power, unclaimed and quiescent
2. A gate to the Lands of the Dead, hidden in a mausoleum
3. A chest with d6*1000 pieces of gold, guarded by vicious ghosts
4.  A noble, kidnapped and placed in suspended animation until the ransom is paid
5.  A garden of black and purple lotus
6.  A single dose of a cure for vampirism
7.  A book explaining how to escape the Isle of the Undead
8.  A spell that banishes the souls of the dead permanently
9. The deed to an abandoned estate
10. A powerful war golem, waiting for a new master

What’s under this tombstone?
1-90: A body
91. A coffin filled with buzzing flies
92. A body, its head replaced with a birdcage containing a live crow
93. The body of the last NPC you talked to
94. d6*1000 pieces of cursed gold
95. A spellbook
96. A Vatic Mummy
97. d100 human hands
98. A deep shaft with a ladder
99. A young man or woman, alive. Theirs is the name inscribed on the tombstone, but they have no other memories,
100. Lich!

jacinto Isle of the Unknown, LotFP, table

Crusaders of the Unknown

Isle of the Unknown’s clerics, like its magic-users, are okay. But for Isle of the Unknowndead, I want more bloody-minded eccentricity. 

Clerics have 1d12 levels. Their saves are 12-half level. They know one spell of each spell level they can cast. All clerics hate, in descending order (1) undead (2) non-clerics (3) non-believers. They only hate non-believers enough to work work with them under some circumstances.

by Edwin Howland Blashfield

This cleric’s title
 The (A) (B) of (C)
A
1. Glorious
2. Resplendent
3. Radiant
4. Miraculous 
5. Wrathful
6. Beneficent
7. Ascendant
8. Merciful
9. First
10. Golden 

B
1. Face
2. Crown
3. Throne
4. Hand
5. Daughter
6. Son
7. Sword
8. Eye
9.  Tongue
10. Servant

C
1. Heaven
2. God
3. the Angels
4. the Saints
5. the Gate
6. the Goddess
7. the Sun
8. the Moon
9. the King
10. the Queen

The flavor of their fervor
Clerics with the same doctrine consider each other to be heretics of the worst sort.
1. Cleanliness is next to deviltry.
2. All magic (other than their own miracles) is evil, and witches must be burnt
3. Fire is the face of God
4. Dance and song (aside from hymns, of course) are a sign of dangerously loose morals
5. BLOOOOOOOD
6. The infidel should be converted, and, failing that, slain.
7. Vow of silence
8. Never cut any hair
9. Clothes are a sign of weak moral character
10. Burn incense at all times
11. Believers must never show their face
12. They are the Chosen One, and God speaks to them personally
13.  The End is nigh, and must be hastened
14. Heal the sick and care for the wounded
15. Lies to non-believers are not sinful
16. God loves the powerful and hates the weak
17. Wealth is a barrier to salvation
18. Those who tolerate evil are evil themselves
19. The world has already ended.
20. The Flood is coming.

Their miracle
1. They need neither sleep nor sustenance
2. Fire cannot harm them
3. None may lie in their presence
4. Their voice sounds like a heavenly choir
5. They cannot drown
6. Though they never seem to walk faster than a stately amble, their overland travel speed is four times as fast as an unencumbered person walking on a road, regardless of terrain
7. They can hurl bolts of lightning
8. Trees, bushes, and crops yield their fruit instantly at the cleric’s will
9. The can create golems using the language of God
10. They can command animals

The vestments they wear
1. A shining suit of golden plate
2. A flowing robe, embroidered with images of dying martyrs
3. Leaves and drying mud, plastered onto their body
4. A stinking cilice
5. A towering miter, adorned with jewels
6.  A simple, stained cassock
7. A  tabard over a coat of chain
8. Most of a bear
9. Bull horn headdress
10. the death-mask of a saint
11. a clerical collar
12. A halo, strapped to the back of their head
13. A ragged cloak
14. Filthy remains of the extravagant clothes they were wearing the moment they heard God
15. A wimple and habit
16. a woolen loincloth
17. a number of diaphanous veils, obscuring their face
18. flowing white robes and a golden sash
19. Angels tattooed all over their body
20. ritual scarification

The weapons they bear
1. A bladed crosier
2. An actual shepherd’s crook
3. A longsword with the image of an eye set into the hilt
4.  A deep black (1-spear; 2-sword; 3-mace; 4-dagger) seized from a slain demon
5. A revolver, inscribed with passages from holy writ
6. a dagger, carved from a saint’s thighbone
7. A massive, weighted aspergilium
8. A coal-powered contraption that sprays gouts of super-heated holy water
9. A spear forged from metal fallen from heaven
10. A shining silver bow, stolen from a pagan goddess
11. A bow and 7 heavenly arrows, (allegedly) fletched with feathers donated by an angel
12. Frothing fury; they deal d12 damage with their teeth and bare hands
13. The axe that executed an infamous heretic
14. An red-bladed sword forged in the flames burning books and quenched in the blood of the faithless
15. Nothing; they are an avowed pacifist and seek only to evangelize 
16. A small cannon on a cart
17. 2d10 grenados, confiscated from an alchemist
18. a scourge, once used for self-mortification
19. A war-fan flabellum
20. A thurible ball-and-chain

jacinto Isle of the Unknown, LotFP, table

Necromancers of the Unknown

EDIT: Super awesome automagic generator here

Isle of the Unknown’s magic-users are okay I guess but I like Logan Knight’s idea of making a crazy undead Island of the It’s Unknown Why Anyone Would Come Here so here are some necromancer tables.

Necromancers are all Magic-Users with 2d8 HD. Their saves are 12 minus half level. They have 1 random spell per available spell level. Like the Isle’s vampires, they might have use for adventurers, so roll on a reaction table  if you have one.

From Viewtiful Joe
by Harry Clarke

This necromancer’s source of power is
1. A wheezing wheeled calliope. Its disturbing music must reach the dead for it to raise them.
2. A room-sized mechanism of cedar and black metal. Their magic only works within a 10 mile radius. 
3. A kiln. Reanimate earthly remains by placing them in its cool black flame.
4. A book bound in gold. Must read directly from its pages to work their magic.
5. A silver-gilt hookah. Breathing its smoke into the faces of the weak-willed transforms them into shambling servants
6. Red candles. If placed on a grave or tombstone and burned, it reanimates all those buried below.
7. Tarnished silver coins. If placed in the mouth of someone recently deceased, it creates a powerful form of undead, but there are only twelve, numbered with Roman numerals.
8. A wand twined with asphodel. Stolen from the King of the Dead; can raise the dead with memory intact.
9. An ebony and silver pocketwatch. Raises all dead in sight, but permanently returns them to a peaceful afterlife after 12 hours.
10. A crude bronze knife. Anyone killed with this knife will rise again as a loyal zombie servitor
11. Parasitic orchids. Infest skeletons and the recently deceased; animation is sustained with sunlight
12. A bone signet ring. Any remains affixed with a wax seal bearing its symbol rise again, but fall if the seal is destroyed or removed.

This necromancer wears
1. A suit of armor made from bones
2. Nothing but swirling tattoos
3. Stilts
4. A peacock-feathered coat
5.  Black and red ritual vestments
6. Ceremonial garb carved from jade
7. clawed prostheses of wood and ivory (1-4 random limbs)
8. A crow mask
9. A mask shaped like a rose blossom
10. a tooth-studded cloak
11.  A spider head mask
12. heavy gold jewelry
13. knives strapped to every part of their body
14. body piercings everywhere
15. a swarm of live hummingbirds, attached to their clothes with tiny chains
16.  long white gloves
17. a blond wig
18. an electric green ballroom gown
19. a little black dress
20. a domino mask

This necromancer’s servant(s) is/are
1. A murder of crows.
2. A pack of wolves.
3. Thirteen crude clay idols, human shaped and the size of a child.
4.  2d6 ex-bandits, each bound to service with a sigil tattooed to their chest
5.  an elderly butler in traditional garbs
6. an axe-wielding brute, who always wears a cowl
7. a swarm of rats.
8.  Six stone gargoyles.
9. a man with the head of a wolf. 
10. an easy to replenish swarm of razor-edged origami spiders
The servants’ special ability is
1. The necromancer can see through their eyes and speak through their mouth
2. They can disguise themselves as an unassuming human
3. They can disguise themelves as statues
4. They can spread disease
5. They are master poisoners/terribly venomous
6. They can fly through the air wildly, on great gusts of wind
7.  They can draw on the necromancer’s memorized spells in times of need
8. They are immune to mundane weapons.

This necromancer’s magic fails in the presence of/contact with
1. The sound of iron bells
2. Sunlight
3. Moonlight
4. Rowan wood
5. A holy relic
6. a hamsa
7.  recitation of the Prayer of St. Apollinaire
8.  holy water
9.  wolfsbane
10. a crowing rooster 

from Twilight Princess
jacinto Isle of the Unknown, LotFP, table

Vampires of the Unknown

A little disappointed with Isle of the Unknown. It has bad-wacky monsters and lacks the aesthetic consistency of Carcosa (as icky as it was). However,  I really like vampires, and hexmaps can be easy to repurpose, so here is a table to replace IotU’s polyhedral panda-snakes with undead.

from Boktai

An encountered vampire has 3d6 HD. Its saves are 13 minus half HD. They aren’t necessarily hostile, especially to potentially useful adventurers, so roll on a reaction table if you’ve got one.

This vampire can
1. Transfix with its stare. Target must Save vs Magic or stare into vampire’s eyes until eye contact is broken.
2. Murder with its song. Can sing a bloody tune that deals 1d6 damage/round to all others in earshot.
3. Freeze with its breathe. Range: Melee; target Save vs Paralyze or take -4 to hit as icy blood courses through body. Lasts until dawn.
4. Bind with its shadow. Shadow is an impassible obstruction. If someone occupies the same space as it because of a change in lightsource, they take d12 damage/round until the shadow is moved.
5. Rend with its claws. Each successful attack also reduces AC from armor by d4.
6. Warp with its touch. Can cast Polymorph Other at will on whoever it touches; lasts d6 rounds.
7. Subjugate with its words. Can cast the cleric Command spell at will.
8. Avenge with its death. Whoever lands the killing blow on this vampire becomes a vampire.

This vampire feeds on
1-90: Blood
91: Mud
92: Other vampires
93: alms, willingly given
94: hair
95: fingernails
96: roses
97: Gold
98: Marrow
99: Dreams
100: Darkness

This vampire turns into
1-30: Baaaats
31-60: a giant wolf
61-90: mist
91: a gentle breeze, holding aloft fragrant flower petals
92: a monstrous man/bat hybrid
93: a swarm of scarab beetles
94: a ghastly blue flame
95: a black cat
96: a two-headed serpent (extremely venomous)
97: a lemur
98: a mobile patch of grave mold
99: a twisting length of red silk
100: two smaller vampires

This vampire wears (among other things) a(n)
1. full suit of armor
2. silk robe
3. waist-coat
4. magnificent dress
5. jackal mask
6. thigh-high boots
7. cape
8. crown
9. makeup
10. broken shackles
12. fur coat
13. veil
14. wimple and habit
15. mohawk
16. large number of tiny bells
17. smoked lenses
18. bunch of empty scabbards
19. giant steel cestus
20. antlered headdress

This vampire’s secret weakness is

(If a vampire reduced to 0 HP succeeds a Save vs Magic, it will return in d20 days, regardless the state or location of its body, unless its killers take advantage of its secret weakness. These can be determined by tricking vampires into revealing them, or finding a true sage, hierophant, or scholar who can divine the answer.)
  
1-30: A stake through the heart
31-60: Decapitation
61-90: Exposure to sunlight
91: recitation of its epitaph (located in a graveyard d10 hexes away in a random direction)
92. fatal wounding with a silver spear
93. submersion in a swift-moving river or stream
94. burial by a cleric in consecrated ground
95. incineration
96. repairing and reblessing its vandalized burial place
97. physically carrying its body into the underworld. The King of the Dead is known to provide generous bounties for this.
98. vertical, head-first burial
99. mouth packed with salt
100. sincere absolution from its most-wronged victim
jacinto LotFP, Pop Tartary, table

It isn’t all glitter

Pop Tartary is awash with sour psychic static: The Signal, a malign spectrum emitted by America’s most gorgeously horrible nightmares.


When The Signal manifests…
1) The Gate Opens
All nearby screens go to static and _______ begin to swarm out.
   1. Rats
   2. Black snakes
   3. Crows
   4. Hagfish, coiling through air as if it were water
   5. Cockroaches
   6. Flies
2) Something Wicked This Way Comes 
The area is suffused with the fatigued yellow glow of a sodium bulb, and everyone present loses 1 point of Strength every round until they make a Save vs Paralyze. Once everyone had made their save, the following creature appears and attacks everyone present:
     Incarnation of Ennui
     Lumbering sickly radiance, immense grasping hands, wet ingénue eyes
     HD: Total number of Strength points lost
     Saves: 18-Strength lost
     Damage: d8
     Special Attack: Target must Save vs Paralyze or go last the following round
Once the creature dies, everyone recovers their Strength.
3) All Is Still
Nothing apparent happens. The party is now being followed The Noise, an irreal creature that wants to help them, but is only able to do so through spectacular acts of violence. The party will leave in their wake a trail of murder and mayhem, most of which tips the balance in their favor. At least until somebody notices.
4) You Change
   To find out what happens to the ones exposed to the Signal, roll a d6:
   1. Their eyes vanish, and their sockets look into a hissing field of static.
   2. They now look grainy and washed out, like an old photograph.
   3. Their shadow always looms behind them, black and twisted, like that scene from Nosferatu
   4. Their voice comes from nearby speakers when they try to speak, but they are otherwise mute
   5. Their breath smells like metal and cooking meat. Animals and children hate them.
   6. Their face is always blurred, like on the people being arrested on Cops.
5) Deceit Rules
    Pick a random PC. A Signal entity secretly tells them that an important (preferably seemingly friendly) NPC is secretly evil and must be stopped.
   Pick another random PC. A Signal entity secretly tells them that this NPC will play a vital role in stopping a terrible, possibly apocalyptic plot.
  A Signal entity secretly and separately tells each of the remaining PCs that a malign intelligence has seeded several of their comrades with dangerous delusions.
   Which of these messages is correct is up to you.
 6) Power Gathers
Those exposed to the Signal gain a random MU spell. They can cast it once before it is gone forever, but the must make Wisdom checks in times of stress in order to not cast it right then and there.

Noomancer
HP, XP and Saves as Magic-User

Noomancers are people who have a device that has Signal and can use it to warp the world around them. Spells are alien transmissions propagated through the Signal. A Noomancer starts play with 1+half level+Intelligence modifier spells, randomly selected from all spell levels of the Magic-User and Cleric lists. When a Noomancer spends 6 hours tuning their device, all remaining spells are replaced with 1+half level+Int mod new spells. They also must make a Save vs Magic or reality weakens. (Table compiled by Patrick Stuart)

jacinto items, LotFP, Pop Tartary

Pop Tartary Warfare

 I know I said I wasn’t going to use Pop Tartary, but this is too much fun.
Level 1

Weapons
Can be anything you want, really. Pick a range and size, and if you think your weapon should be able to do anything else, like stun or entangle, let me know and we can work something out. 

Range 
Melee: base damage is d10
Reach: base damage is d8
Ranged: base damage is d6

Size
Small: -1 die size. one handed, easily concealable
Medium: base damage, one handed
Large: +1 die size, two handed


Armor

The more remarkably you’re dressed, the better your defense. You get a bonus to your AC equal to your Charisma modifier, rather than your Dexterity modifier. 
 
Boring: 12 AC. Examples: T shirts, cargo pants, gym shorts, something you’d wear to work (for most of us)


Cute: 14 AC. Examples: You know it when you see it.


Titillating: 16 AC. Examples: fur coats, handcuffs, stompy boots, big hats, leather, things with lots of buckles, cabana boys and French maids, dayglo

Toxic: 18 AC. Something you’d only ever see on a runway.  Whole animals, stilts, fish tanks, peacock feathers


As a note, this isn’t “Painstaking describe what your character is wearing” (unless you want to, of course). I am more thinking “find something amusing on Image Search.”

Not sure where this fits in, but I feel like it belongs

jacinto intro, LotFP, Pop Tartary

Post Pop Apocalypse


DnD requires give and take between what the players want and what the DM wants, and so there are some ideas I have that will probably never see the table, just because my players aren’t interested and I don’t have the confidence to pull it off if they were. This is one of them.
Pop Tartary* tastes like bubblegum and isopropyl alcohol.
Pop Tartary looks like Divine:
And sounds like these:
 
 
Pop Tartary Americana is: ruined future, nuclear science and black magic, leather vests, platform shoes, pop star prophets, glitter in the streets and blood in the water, go go boots, sweat sheen, garbage witches, strange frequencies and nightmare channels, sentient music videos, compulsory reality TV, weak reality, false eyelashes, record producer liches, Lady Gaga has a cult but Azealia Banks has an army, nasty cute, the devil wears Birkenstocks, occult street drugs, glass jewelry, Elvis impersonator priest/esses, Our Lady of Wigs, neon samurai, the Electric Saint, the Rocket Messiah, vinyl miniskirt is 18 AC, syringe demons 
Classes:
Noomancers tap weird subliminal Jungian frequencies to produce Magic-User spells; rely on radios and cell phones to work their art
Pop Mediums create servants from the psychic leftovers of lost fame
Gleaming Divas/Shining Adonises glammer their enemies with preternaturally good looks and eldritch voices
Neon Samurai fortify their martial expertise with the power of the electromagnetic spectrum
Henshin have turned sad fantasy into violent reality by actually gaining superpowers when they don costumes

Who’s Who of Pop Tartary:

Johnny Deluxe is the oldest vampire in Las Vegas
Marie Laveau is still alive and more sorcerous than ever
His Royal Majesty, The President of the United States of America is the iron-fisted monarch of the world’s greatest democracy
Adam is a superintelligent AI from Silicon Valley that has flourished since the end of the world
Monsters
Uranium Elementals, glowing nightmares born in the aftermath of the Incident
Discoheads have disco balls for heads and flail about with needle sharp claws
The Trash Dragon was born from a landfills and terrorizes the Southwest with its fallout breath
Big Crocadilly rules the luminously green swamps of Florida
Static demons crawl out of televisions tuned to the wrong sorts of channels
Paparazzi avoid direct conflicts, but love to snap pictures of you in compromising positions. Wagers of social warfare. 
Inspiration 
Blueprints of the Afterlife, Persona, Scissor Sisters, Diplo, Simon Green’s Nightside series (thoroughly mediocre!)
*by this I mean it is an anachronistic post-apocalyptic science fantasy setting like Richard’s Tartary and Jason K’s American Tartary, not that it is set in Asia

jacinto Bossa Nova, encounters, table

Murderers, Magicians, and Monsters

I like the idea of random encounters revolving around specific NPCs.

The two most civilized and prosperous islands in the Archipelago are Isle del Sol and Chateau Nocturne, but the islands between them are wild and dangerous. Perhaps the most infamous of these is Carcosa, covered with the remains of long since vanished civilizations. It is home to bandits, monsters, and wizards, many of whom are rather infamous, who sift through the ruins, searching for treasure, lost knowledge, and prey.

I plan on nesting these inside my proper wilderness encounter table, but the bandit and sorcerer tables could work in a city or town, too.

1. Masked Banditos
Roll 1d10
1. Glitter Bitch partakes in outrageous gorgeous rhinestone-studded razzledazzlery of all sorts. He delights in robbing priests, and his pepperbox gun, named Lovebite, can blind his enemies for a time. 

2. Pretty Tyrant is better dressed than you are, and he carries a whip for when Tres Chic, his pearl-handled revolver, is out of ammunition. He hates monsters above all else.

3. Murphy Bed is as big as a king-sized mattress and nearly as smart. His gun, The Blunderblast, doubles as a two-handed club. He covets gold like no other.

4. Laudanum Laura has taken every drug under the sun. Her rifle, Sweet Dreams, puts to sleep anyone it doesn’t kill. Alchemists and conjurers are her favored targets.

5. Jergan is a hunched old man with a taste for tobacco. His gun, Ole Shocky, fires bolts of lightning. Though he loves wealth, books and scrolls are his favorite loot.

6. Glutinous Pete is actually some sort of slime shaped like a man. His pistol is called Fi and it always stays with its owner. Nobody knows what he wants.

7. No-hands Joan has guns strapped to her handless wrists. One is called Will and the other Testament, and together they can fire faster than thought. She claims to be saving up for prosthetics.

8. The Swan Queen  wears a coat of black feathers, and her gun, Last Argument of Queens, fires like a cannon. She pursues the Jade Crown of Arigesh with grim determination.

9. Julius Caesar thinks that he is that Julius Caesar. His gun, Et tu, is made of marble.

10. Ruby Rubal is a scarred old woman with filed teeth. Her carbine, Kissin Don’t Last, doesn’t make a sound when fired. She seeks revenge, though against whom and for what crime, nobody knows.


2. Corrupt Sorcerers
Roll 1d10
1. The Baron of Brass is trapped inside a brazen sarcophagus. He is carried about on a litter by 4 skeleton slaves. His grimoire is Atlas of the Damned, and it holds the secrets of the dead. He has a terrible fear of snakes.

2. Two-Toed Timmy only has his big toes still attached, but he wears a jacket made from the toes of his enemies. His spellbook is titled A Monograph on Revenge, and contains many terrible curses

3. The Duke of Sighs keeps his last breath in a bottle so he can’t die. His tome is called In Pursuit of Perpetuity, and describes much about liches and undeath. He plots against the West Wind, and plans to steal her title.

4. Jessica Spider* has the upper body of an armless woman, but the lower body of a giant spider with human hands on the ends of its limbs. Her book, titled The Chelicerata, instructs the read on how to command and summon creatures with eight legs. She did not always look this way.

5. The Panopticon has only one eye, embedded in the back of her throat. Her spellbook is On Pluriscience, a handbook on divination. She communes with the Unquiet Worms that live deep under Carcosa.

6. Adonis, the Sedusa possesses an impossibly beautiful face, and has snakes for hair. His grimoire is titled Fair in Love and War, and specializes in the manipulation of mind and emotion. Some say he is the son of Ravenous Brod, Prince of Witches.

7. The Lotus King has lotus flowers of various sprouting from his body; their pollen works as the poison/drug. His book is the Zoimancer‘s Enchiridion, and discusses the manipulation of life and death. He is the mortal enemy of the Summoner Arzak.

8. The Scream Angel has the head and wings of a parrot. His voice is terrible to behold, and his spellbook is titled The Wailing Choir, and contains many spells with power over sound. For reasons only known to him, he hates Beast Children and attacks them on sight.

9. Chargaster‘s heart is a furnace, and she must eat coal to survive. Her breath is fire, and her asbestos-lined grimoire is Balrog’s Bounty, which enumerates the Powers of flame and darkness. She trades in souls and memories.

10. The Catenate wears a hood over her face and is bound in chains. Sealings and Bindings, her spellbook, contains many spells of entrapment, banishment, and imprisonment. She loves making deals and extracting promises.
*totally stolen from the comic Saga
3. Strange Beasts
Roll 1d10
1.  The Wondersquid possesses 10 tentacles* and 10 feathery wings. Its beak, when pulverized, can be used to treat many poisons

2. The Hieronymus Wyrm is a dragon-like creature that can expel beams of fiery light from its mouth. Its bones are inscribed with knowledge valuable to both sorcerers and priests.

3. The Vivacious Krull is a scaly, gorilla-like creature the size of a house. Its touch causes the sudden growth of plants, and its heart, when eaten, can cure the curse of undeath.

4. The Gallowskeeper is a giant spider that weaves silken nooses to trap and kill its prey. Anyone executed with one cannot be brought back to life.

 5. The Barbicant is a giant, flightless bird with a locust head and venomous talons. A gate built from its bones will lead to the Underworld

6. The Oneiric Hunter can turn into anything its prey has dreamed of. A newly forged weapon, quenched in its blood, can change shape according to the wishes of its owner.

 7. The Steelwolf is a wolf made of metal. Its blood cures lycanthropy in those who suffer from it, but causes the curse in those who don’t

8. The Rosaceous Sarcophage is an ambulatory, flesh-eating rose bush. The smell of its blossoms are a prophylactic against all poisonous vapors and noxious odors.

9. The Ballastic Crab is a small crustacean that gathers in large numbers. If agitated, it detonates. If it can be killed before it explodes, it can be used as a grenade.

10. Querulous Dupe appears as any kind of apex predator, but the faces of all Dupes appear as the same woman. It complains quietly as it mauls its prey with small, human teeth.
*no, I do not care about the difference between tentacles and arms
jacinto Uncategorized

Bossa Nova character creation

Character  creation for my upcoming game.

Inspiration: Clive Barker’s  Abarat, Boktai, True Grit, Bum Rush The Titan’s alignment system

I should mention this post is actually based on the format of Bum Rush The Titan’s character creation process.

Base Rules: Lamentation of the Flame Princess, available for free
Attributes
Roll 3d6 in order, then swap 2 attributes of your choice. 
Score
Modifier
3
-3
4-5
-2
6-8
-1
9-12
0
13-15
+1
16-17
+2
18
+3


Alignment
Pick Day, Night, or Twilight.
Alignment impacts how certain kinds of magic affect your character, and is an indication of roughly where you character is from; northern islands tend to belong to Night while southern islands are ruled by Day. Alignment also impacts how organizations treat you as a member. Most people don’t care what alignment you are.


Day: Knights of Noon, House del Sol
Twilight: Twilit Desperados, House Vespers
Night: Midnight Banditos, House of Nocturne


Languages
You know a number of languages in addition to Common equal to your Intelligence modifier (minimum 0).  
High Tenebraic: Dead language spoken by a long-fallen empire of Night. Common in ruins, on magical objects, and in scholarly settings
Hieric: language of the aristocracy of Day.
Low Gloaming: language of dark monsters and demons
Thalassic: native tongue of the undine and sea monsters
Febrific: language of madmen, and fiery monsters and devils
Azur: thieves’ cant, liturgical language of the Lord of the Blue Hour


Classes
If you want to play something weird like a mermaid or a dragon or a robot, let me know.


Beast Child
HP and Saves as Fighter, XP as Magic-User
photo of Leonor Fini
Beast Children can turn into creatures. In order to be able to turn into a creature, a Beast Child must possess a trophy, acquired by defeating the creature in a fight, such as a scale, fang, or piece of hide. The creature can be of any level.
A Beast Child can have a number of forms equal to their level. If they exceed this limit, they must choose forms to lose, and discard the corresponding trophy. Once a trophy is discarded, the Beast Child cannot use it to change forms. They can, however,  acquire a replacement later. Trophies only count towards this limit if the Beast Child is high enough level to use them. Otherwise, they can be saved until the Beast Child has enough experience.


When a Beast Child changes shape, all of their equipment transforms with them, and can only be accessed when the Child is in their human shape. Only equipment a Beast Child can carry transforms with them; anything that brings them over the encumbrance limit stays as it is.


Beast Children can transform as much as they like. It takes a full turn to turn into a creature. When in the form of a creature, Beast Children:
  • Keep their max and current HP, saving throws and attack bonus,
  • Keep their Intelligence, Charisma, and Wisdom
  • Gain the Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, and AC of the creature
  • Gain any special abilities the creature possesses
  • Can speak with any other creature of the same type, unless that requires you to gain a listed language.


Cleric
Just like the LotFP Cleric, except for the following. Instead of standard spell progression, you can cast Level + Wisdom modifier spell levels worth of spells per day. Gods are Lady Midday, Mother Midnight, and the Lord of the Blue Hour, but you can make your own.  You start with 3 random spells.


Fighter
Just like LotFP


Magic-User
Just like the LotFP Magic-User, except for the following. Instead of standard spell progression, you can cast Level + Int mod spell levels worth of spells per day. You still need to memorize them. You also must come up with a better class name than “Magic-User”. You start with 4 random spells in your spellbook.


Summoner
HP as Fighter, Saves and XP progression as Cleric  


Summoners call forth and bind spirits. Doing so requires sacrifice—they must wound themselves for d4 damage to call forth a spirit with 1 HP, +0 Attack Bonus, 12 AC, and 14 in all saves. Calling up a spirit takes a full round. A spirit under a Summoner’s control will obey all of their verbal instructions to the letter.

Greater wounds attract and snare more powerful spirits—for every additional d4 HP the Summoner sacrifices during the summoning, they can do one of the following:
  • increase the spirit’s HP by d6
  • increase the spirit’s AB by 1
  • increase the spirit’s AC by 1
  • reduce the spirit’s saves by 1
Summoners can call up as many spirits as they like, and spirits last until dismissed or destroyed, but Summoners cannot recover any sacrificed HP if they have any spirits under their control.


In their travels, Summoners can discover ways to summon spirits with strange talents.


Specialist
Exactly the same as Lamentation of the Flame Princess Specialist.


Witch
HP as Magic-User, Experience as Fighter, Saves as Cleric
Witches cast spells. They can do so as often as they wish. A spell can affect anything within 200 feet of the caster. A spell can do the following:
  • Replicate the effect of any simple weapon, tool, or mechanical object, such as a torch, grappling hook, bow and arrow, or ladder.
  • Manipulate an object. The witch uses Charisma in place of Strength and Dexterity.
A Witch can cast simultaneously a number of spells equal to 1 + half level. The maximum number of spells they can have active at one time is also 1 + half level. Otherwise, spells last until dismissed.


As a heads up, the Witch is super experimental, so if you play one, the class abilities may be subject to change.


Equipment
Starting money =$3d6*(10+Charisma modifier)
$1 = 1 sp
Use the Lamentation of the Flame Princess equipment list for everything but weapons and armor. You start out with 1 weapons and 1 piece of armor at no cost.


I don’t care what your weapons are, as long as they aren’t aggressively stupid and they match the category you say they’re in. Dual-wielding fork warrior? Sure. Debutante assassin that stabs her victims with really long hair pins? Go right ahead. If you think a weapon should have a special characteristic (like reach for a spear or entanglement for a whip) let me know and we can talk about it.


Size
Characteristics
Melee Damage
Ranged Damage
Range in Feet
Small
Easy to hide
d6
d4
50
Medium
d8
d6
100
Large
two handed
d10
d8
200
Oversize
two handed, takes up inventory slot even when wielded
d12
d10
400


Armor
Size
Encumbrance
AC
Movement Speed
Cloth/naked
None
12+ Dex mod
Fast
Light
1 row
14 + Dex Mod
Medium
Medium
2 rows
16 + Dex Mod
Slow
Heavy
3 rows
18 + Dex Mod
Very Slow