While I love this post, I can’t get behind Patrick’s distaste using Charisma and Wisdom for attack rolls. That was one of the bits I liked about 4e. Plus, I just love wacky weapons: books, dolls, jars, brooms, souls, cards. I’d like to defend Constitution, but I just don’t know how that’d work.
  
You can possess a number of mental weapons equal to your Intelligence modifier. Always roll against target’s AC, even when you think it doesn’t make sense.

Dreadful Doll: nightmare of cloth and steel. Plant a shred of your psyche in its head and it is yours to command; you can tell it attack (d20+attack bonus+Charisma modifier, d6 damage on hit) or grapple at a range of 100 feet. Goes inert beyond that.

from Tales of the Abyss

Abyssal Imprecation: profane even for the denizens of the Void. d20+attack bonus+Charisma modifier, d8 damage on hit, roll to attack everything in earshot, including yourself.

Vatic Pronouncement: the future is yours. d20+attack bonus+Wisdom modifier, on a hit you can choose which ally the target will attack on its next turn

Sylvan Drone: droning trance that lets you command animals. d20+attack bonus+Wis modifier, most dangerous member wildlife in earshot deals damage based on size to target

And just because, here’s a monster
Pallid Walker
A small, cloaked creature with a ghastly pale face. It strides about on stilts, stooped under the weight of the jar on its back
HD: 1
Move speed: 60′
Saves: 11 for all
Damage: d6 (dagger) 
Special: Receive +5 to grapple checks, can cast 1 1st level spell
Pallid Walkers always attack the nearest creature. They usually try to grapple unless the fight isn’t going their way. Once a target is successfully subdued, they can place it in the jar in their back. For every creature in the Gentle Stalker’s jar, it gains 1 HD and the ability to cast a single spell with the same level as its HD. Creatures in its jar must make a Strength check (Save vs Paralysis) to get out.

Saving throws drive me nuts. They have a certain arbitrary charm, but there are a lot of them and the categories don’t make much sense and the rolling mechanic is dissimilar to most others in LotFP. So I have replaced them with roll-under stat checks and given each class a bonus against certain kinds of attacks. 20s always fail. It isn’t mathematically identical, and doesn’t tie into character progression, but in most cases making saves will still be pretty scary.

  • Fighters get a +3 bonus to rolls against crushing, constricting, poisoning, and other forms of direct bodily harm 
  • Magic-Users get a +3 bonus against magic that comes from gods or the natural world
  • Clerics get a +3 bonus against magic that comes from humans, demons, or the unnatural
  • Specialists get a +3 bonus to all checks to dodge, avoid, or escape
  • Beast Children get a +3 bonus against bodily transformation of any sort
  • Witches get a +3 bonus against charm, sleep, illusions, anything that affects the mind