jacinto demon, fairy, i am sick, monsters, Pernicious Albion, wonders and wickedness

Personages Seen in the Miserous Hills

Prose is a little extra purple today, but this was fun to write. Adapting my half-assed God of the Earth dungeon for Albion.
 
Countess of Secrets-kept, true Lady of Faerie
Wolves proclaim her arrival and foxes bear her train: the Countess of Secrets-kept, her dress the purple of beaten flesh, her high crown fashioned from black horn. A single red scar mars the pallor of her face, and all who knew or asked whence it came are now ashes.

HD 10 Speed human
Armor none Attack none
Morale 9 Alignment Chaotic

Abilities

  • Command Canine:  All foxes, hounds, and wolves in Albion must obey the Countess, for they sold their service to her long ago. 
  • Fairy-power: As a greater fairy, the Countess can cast Totem/Polymorph Other, Geas/Covenant, Revisitation/Teleport, and Bewitch/Charm Person. She cannot cast more than 10 spells in a day.
  • Lich-craft/Animate Dead:  The Countess’ closest and dearest ally is Lucifer, with whom she plays chess every Sunday. As a birthday present some centuries ago, he gave her the ability to raise the dead, though she only has power over the remains of the damned.

Her servants are three brothers named Mercy-me, Noose-tight, and Lackaday. They are perfectly identical in their hideousness and eloquently rude to all but their mistress. Each has a different, baroque scheme to depose the Countess, claim her title, and curse her house unto thirteen generation as revenge for these long millennia of servitude. They bicker amongst themselves endlessly.

The Countess of Secrets-kept is currently pursuing the God of the Earth for its heart, so that she can make it into a chess pawn–she misplaced her last one, carved from Helen of Troy’s rib.

Too Little Too Late, Demon of the 4th Circle
It changes shape like humans change clothes, but no matter how it looks, it always feels wrong, like a nail pounded into the flesh of the world. Without its magic, Too Little Too Late is as red and slick and slender as a man without skin, its mouth crowded with crocodile teeth than can punch through steel.

HD 9 Speed human
Armor as plate Attack as longsword (claws)
Morale 8 Alignment Chaotic

Abilities

  • Temptation of the Miser: Victim must save vs Magic or have a large, beautifully cut gem worth £100×d10 grow painlessly and harmlessly in their forehead. Removing this gem is excruciatingly painful, horrifically bloody, and invariably fatal.
  • Deception: Too Little Too Late can assume any human appearance it pleases
  • Hell-power:  As a demon, Too Litle Too Late can 9 spells a day from the Diabolism school. It can also assume bodily control over humans by crawling into their mouths, though they are allowed a single Save vs Magic to expel it.

Too Little Too Late hunts the God of the Earth to possess it and build an infernal kingdom from the safety of its monstrous new body.

jacinto monsters, Pernicious Albion

Secret Trash

Three Lore Garbage facts about Albion:

  1. There are two secret cardinal directions in Albion, both orthogonal to the conventional four. Going Deathwise leads one closer to the Hereafters. Going there is generally a one way trip, but travelers can stop at the Sunless Lands, the miserable marches beyond the Lands of the Living where the angels, demons, and vampires make their courts. The opposite direction, Whimwards, leads into the Kingdom of Faerie, ruled by the King of Roses Red and his sprawling, decadent court. 
  2. Death is a physical entity in Albion. It is responsible for ensuring that the deceased transition to the Hereafters properly and employs a vast, sclerotic bureaucracy of psychopomps and demigods to fulfill its duty. Known as the House of Death, it largely does its job, but history is filled with powerful magicians who extended their lives by banishing, imprisoning, or binding the psychopomps sent to collect their souls. Death always wins out in the end, however–neutralizing a psychopomp means that the House will eventually get around to sending something more powerful to find out what happened to one of their agents, and at the top of the hierarchy is Death itself. (Functionally, this means rather than a Death and Dismemberment roll, there’s a Les Petites Morts table that determines which psychopomp is coming to scoop out your soul, and what you can do to stop them)
  3. Hell sent the Infernal Expeditionary Army to occupy Albion centuries ago. It failed utterly, but its leaders decided to stay–the climate was lot better, and they only had an eternity of excruciating punishment to look forward to if they returned. Now their general and her officers pass their time by waging perennial war against the angels the vampire warlords in the Sunless Lands, collecting souls and sowing sin all the while.

Here’s a monster: 
Vestal of Cinder
HD 10 Speed human (hover)
Armor none Attack throw Black Fire (as greataxe, see below)
Morale 12 Alignment Lawful
 
Vestal Virgins who blasphemously immolated themselves in the sacred flames they tended, charred skeletons in pristine white vestments. There are thirteen in all the world, and they serve Vesta Mortua, Goddess of the Cold Hearth. In their freezing temples, they endlessly perform the rituals that sustain the necromantic legacy of fallen Rome.

Vestals of Cinder can cast Necromancy spells as a 10th level magician.

Any flame ignited or tended by a Vestal of Cinder is Black Fire, which sheds cold and dark rather than heat and light. Just as true flame burns the living to death, Black Fire burns the dead back to life, raising them as malevolent undead creatures with the abilities, appearance, and knowledge they had when they lived. 

When a Vestal of Cinder dies, her body reforms in the Black Fires of her home temple the following midnight. These flames can only be extinguished through supreme magical effort–a powerful Angel of Seas or a huge quantity of Clarified Water might do the job.

Inverse Revenant
HD as in life Speed human
Armor as worn Attack as wielded weapon
Morale 12 Alignment Neutral
 
Black Fire is inverse flame, and those burned to life by it share that quality. Inverse revenants retain the memories, abilities, and attributes they possessed in life, and appear as a mirror image of their living selves. Inverse revenants do not retain their personality–they are all malicious, albeit loyal, servants of whoever started the fire that raised them. They speak to each other backwards and will do anything to avoid the sight of their own reflection. 

jacinto classes, clerics, LotFP, wonders and wickedness

Cult Class(ic)

I’ve had this idea rolling around in my head for a while, and when I saw this post by Arnold, i figured out how to fit it all together.

  GODLING

A  race-class for Old School D&D

HP and XP as Magic-user
Save and Attack Bonus as Cleric
Godlings are minor, furtive divinities unable to directly interfere with the Land of the Living and the mortals therein. Instead, they act through cults and miracles, in hopes of establishing a true religion and becoming a greater god. Godlings can look like pretty much anything (that isn’t stupid) and their size and appearance becomes progressively more impressive as they gain levels.
SHRINES

Godlings can perceive, speak with, and cast spells on anything near their shrines. If all of a godling’s shrines are destroyed, their connection with the Land of the Living is permanently severed (i.e. it’s time for a new character).

1st level godlings start with a single shabby shrine in the nearest settlement. Godlings gain 1 xp for every gold piece spent on improving any of their shrines. Improvements can be aesthetic, or they can make the shrine harder to find or destroy. Godlings can also build new shrines to make themselves harder to permanently banish–establishing one costs 1000 sp and doesn’t count towards experience.

FOLLOWERS 
from princess mononoke

To interact with the Land of the Living beyond their shrine, a godling needs followers to act as proxies. In any town they have a shrine, they can establish a cult. To do so, they need to formulate some sort of creed or promise for their followers. Funny clothes help, too. The total number of cultists cannot exceed the godling’s level. Cultists work like retainers, save for the following:

  • A godling can perceive through any of their cultists’ senses, communicate with them mentally, and cast spells through them 
  • Cultists will do any mundane, non-dangerous task their godling tells them to do without question, and can be trusted not to steal items or money. 
  • Cultists receive a permanent +1 to Morale for every spell their godlings casts in their presence
  • Cultists do not require payment

Godlings still might have other worshipers, but cultists are the ones fanatic enough to put themselves at risk. Godlings can hire regular retainers, too, though they require pay and won’t sing your weird songs or wear those stupid robes. Other player characters cannot become cultists.

MIRACLES

Godlings can cast a number of spells equal to their level each adventure. They can cast any spell they know and begin knowing all the spells in a single school. Godlings can gain access to additional spell schools by hunting down one of their fellows in the Land of Spirits and eating them. Any spell that targets the self can instead be cast on a godling’s cultists. A godling’s spell school is a reflection of their nature:

Devil: Diabolism
God of Nature: Elementalism
God of Death: Necromancy
God of Magic: Spiritualism
God of Travel: Translocation
God of Dreams: Psychomancy
God of Life: Vivimancy

LOCALITY

The Spirit World coincides perfectly, intangibly, and invisibly with the Land of the Living. Every location in the Spirit World has a Land of the Living analogue. Godlings can directly interact with creatures and objects in the Spirit World, so players should be explicit where their character is–a godling can function perfectly well hanging out in town, sending miracles at a distance, but they won’t be able to interfere with Spirit World obstacles for their co-adventurers if they do so.

In any situation where a godling actually enters combat (such as when they confront another spirit or if they are pulled into the Land of the Living by a spell), they fight as a Cleric of equal level.

jacinto angels, clerics, LotFP, monsters, Pernicious Albion, spell

Lawful Awful

The Watchers are secret society of humans who have pledged themselves to the cause of the Grigori. The communicate with each other through coded messages and dreams, arranged by their angelic patrons. Most Watchers are just regular people with eccentric religious views and a casual disregard for the kind of bodily harm their masters tend to cause, but a few have been transformed as a reward for their service.

Soteriomancer
HD 2-10 Speed human
Armor none Attack staff
Morale 10 Alignment Lawful
Magicians who have sworn to aid the Grigori. They are often members of Albion’s occult aristocratic class, keeping their allegiances secret as they sabotage their fellows and excavate sleeping angels.

Soteriomancers function as magicians with levels equal to their HD. They know a number of Spiritualism spells equal to half their level and can expend any prepared spell to cast Refine Corpus instead.

Refine Corpus
The caster transforms a single human within 10 ft into a more virtuous being. The caster can apply half their level to the target’s saving throw if they so choose. This miracle has 7 variations. Soteriomancers acquire a new variation every level in ascending orders. 

  1. Subtly alters the brain structure of the target, preventing them from ever sleeping again. The target may make a Save vs Magic; on a success, they no longer need to sleep anyway. On a failure, they will suffer the effects of sleep deprivation until they go mad and die.
  2. Sublimates the target’s digestive organs into nothing. The target may make a Save vs Magic; on a success, they can subsist purely on aether and no longer need to eat or drink. On a failure, they will die or thirst and starvation during the days to come.
  3. Destroys the ability of the target’s body to regulate its temperature–they no longer produce body heat and cannot sweat or shiver. The target may Save vs Magic; on a success, they are completely untroubled by any temperature a natural climate can produce; on a failure, they die of hypothermia over the next few hours as their body becomes room temperature.
  4. The target’s lungs and associated respiratory organs dissolve into intangible golden dust. The target may make a Save vs Magic; on a success; they no longer need to breath. On a failure, they will quickly suffocate.
  5. The target no longer ages. The target may Save vs Magic; on a success, they may enjoy their new immortality. On a failure, this stasis prevents their body from healing itself–all wounds they suffer become permanent and all damage they take affects their maximum HP
  6. The target becomes perfectly androgynous and biologically sexless. The target may Save vs Magic; on a success, they become immune to Charm spells. On a failure, they henceforth automatically fail all Saves vs Poison/Death.
  7. The target must Save vs Magic or be enthralled by the soteriomancer, pledging themselves to the cause of the Grigori with no thought of previous alliance. They also undergo the seven previous versions of Refine Corpus, one per Turn in ascending order, automatically succeeding each saving throw. On the seventh Turn, they transform into an angel with HD equal to their level rounded to the nearest multiple of 3. 

Lazarene Knight
HD 1-10 Speed human
Armor none Attack sword
Morale 12 Alignment Lawful

from Darkest Dungeon

The body of a great warrior, mummified and possessed by the soul of a particularly virtuous Watcher. They wear winged golden armor, and beneath are wrapped in bandages anointed with myrrh. All Lazarene Knights carry a massive bronze jar and their back, which they use to capture souls and spirits. Knights can be Turned as undead, which is the subject of a number of heated theological debates.

Lazarene Knights can cast Soul Harvest at will. Captured souls are trapped in the Knight’s jar and Charmed/infatuated with the angel that raised the Lazarene Knight from the dead. When encountered, Knights start with d6+1 souls in their jar.

A Knight can expend 1 soul to do any of the following:

  • Send the soul to the Hereafter that creates a pillar of golden fire that deals d6×half HD of the soul
  • Have the soul animate and control a number of HD of undead equal to its own HD. This purges any disease, decay, and corruption from the bodies.
  • Send the soul to possess someone. This functions as the Bewitch/Charm Person spell. 
  • Allow the soul to possess them. This heals the Knight for d6×half HD of the soul, and causes the Knight to speak in first person plural.
jacinto clerics, LotFP, Pernicious Albion

Albion Jobs and Hangout Session 2

I lost the notes and posts where I kept track of everything, so I’m eyeballin’ it and will do a better job this time.

Session 1: 150 XP, £100 each for the ornamental Roman armor
Session 2: 600 XP, £200 for the various goods you stole, and £1500 to be divided among you for bringing the courtier back. You also have the Engine of Avode and a barge called The Pike. You just got back to Queen’s Crossing. 

You owe Madam Eugenia £50 for rent, and she’s posted the following jobs:

From the Royal Society
A team of scholars has disappeared on an expedition to Osric’s Tor. £1,500 for returning them alive; £750 for returning their remains. We will also pay for any antiquities safely recovered from the site. Speak Professor Lately at the Queen’s College for the particulars. 

From Magus Banister
Some prole saw a carbuncle scuttle into the abandoned grotto at old Stockade Hill. Get me its Carbuncular Matrix before those simpering pretenders from the Zoological Society do. £2,000.

SESSION RECAP
Scavenger’s Weir is a town that consists of a network of islands connected by a series of weirs and bridges. The party was hired by the Postmaster of Queen’s Crossing to find some missing couriers.

  1. The people of Scavenger’s Weir were weird and pushy. Mr. and Mrs. Clasp, the town’s mayoral couple, REALLY INSISTED that they have the party for tea. Tilda the Summoner slipped away to visit an ex-nun the Clasps had badmouthed, and who had tried to get them a message.
  2. Mrs. Clasp tried to force the rest of the gang to eat her food. They got into a fight with her, and she proved to be a lot tougher than her delicate exterior would suggest, especially after said exterior cracked away beneath their weapons, revealing something approximately like the following. Her attacks make the party slow and sluggish.
  3.  Tilda the Summoner comes back with Sister Joanna, nun of the Queen Mother. She then summons a salamander, which burns down the house. Mrs. Clasp runs out with the party, reassuming her disguise. Nobody bothers to rescue the explains that she’s a demon, looking for a device stolen from her, which she had tracked here. She hadn’t been able to spirit the device out of town, because the Scavengers were abusing it to rob people and guarded it jealously. 
  4. Tilda’s salamander breaks from her control, and the party subdues it.
  5. Joanna, seeing Mrs. Clasp as a demon, fights her. They both end up in the water. The ruckus from the burning house attracts the attention of the townspeople, who lock the party up in a warehouse. 
  6. They escape with their cell-mate (one of the missing couriers), managing to acquire the key and kill both of their guards. Tilda summons the salamander, which again breaks from her control and sets the warehouse on fire.
  7. Hearing the Scavengers coming, they flee through a hidden trapdoor the courier points out to them, leading to the interior of the island.
  8. They fight their way past some Scavengers. Jessica the Vampire the blood one while he was dying. As they walk down the passage, he reanimates and attacks them, but is killed.
  9. The remaining townspeople, having heard the ruckus (guns are loud!), holed themselves up in the final room. They’re open fire when the party opens the door, so they throw all their loose gunpowder and shot into the room and send Tilda’s salamander after it. The explosion kills all of them, as well as the fighter Bartholomew III (I think?). 
  10. The party finds a large, conch-like device, filled with gears and with an X on it. Goldenloin the warlock calls on Penemue to translate the inscription on it, which reads “ENGINE OF AVODE/THAT DEMON OF LANGUOR”
  11. Through experimentation, they find that the X is a Roman numeral, and that it will put people to sleep if they feed it 10 HP worth of blood. People that have given into temptation associated with Avode (presumably the real name of Mrs. Clasp) are particularly susceptible. 
  12. They use the Engine of Avode on the townspeople who were waiting in the ruins of the warehouse, and took a scavenged barge back to Queen’s Crossing.

LESSONS LEARNED

  1. I’m going to do initiative by phase. Initiative determines who goes first within a phase.. I’m terrible with initiative and fitting monster actions logically within a round, so hopefully the extra structure will help. Brendan’s Final Castle playtest made me like the phase system.
    1. Ranged attacks
    2. Melee attacks
    3. Magic. If you want to cast a spell and you’ve taken damage that round, make a save or roll on a calamity table.
  2. The Engine of Avode is pretty powerful, but it will attract a lot of unpleasant attention. Haven’t tried something like that before (they sure never saw Avode die, did they?), but we’ll see how it goes. Politicking and navigating various factions is an important part of Albion, so having magic items be the center of a power struggle fits.
jacinto encounters, is this gonna work, monsters, never read balzac

Golems of Goriat

Self-sufficient magical devices constructed by the ancient people of Goriat. In ages past, golems farmed, built, and manufactured for their masters, but the only golems left today are engines of destruction.
 
 Chlorolisk
A vine-wrapped porcelain skeleton, its ribcage packed with dirt and seeded with cursed orchids. Chlorolisks are not sentient, and the formulas inscribed on the insides of their skulls compel them to kill everything they see.
HD 8 Speed human
Armor plate Attack unarmed d8
Morale 12 Alignment Neutral

  • Sow. When a Chlorolisk strikes an enemy with a melee attack, it forces seeds into their flesh. 
  • Effloresce. Chlorolisks can cast Plant Growth at will. Growing seeds embedded in an enemy’s flesh deals d6 damage for every successful Chlorolisk melee attack the target has suffered this combat. 
  • Mindless. Chlorolisks are in a fight or looking for one. Retreat, ambush, or sabotage are beyond them. 

Goliath
A sandstone colossus with a stylized eye inscribed in its sphereical head. Each Goliath contains the soul of an ancient criminal, imparting it with limited intelligence and a tendency to hoard.
HD 10 Speed ½ human
Armor plate Attack flare d20
Morale 10 Alignment Neutral

  • Scry. Goliaths can cast Clairvoyance at will.
  • Flare. Goliaths can produce gouts of brilliant flame from their eye, dealing d20 damage at shortbow range.
  • Greed. Goliaths contain the souls of those executed for theft and graft. The lingering avarice of these ghosts compels Goliaths to any valuables they come across, despite the fact that material wealth is useless to such a creature. 

Hex Vessel
A large clay pot that walks about on four spidery arms, illuminated by a torch-bright blue flame that hovers over its mouth. Hex vessels are animated by the ghosts of insufficiently talented sorcerers, and are most easily persuaded of Goriat’s golems. 
HD 4 Speed 1.5 × human
Armor leather Attack flame d6
Morale 6 Alignment Neutral

  • Birth. Hex vessels are golematric incubators and have a 1 in 6 chance of disgorging an inkling each Round.
  • Cowardice. Hex vessels never participate directly in combat and only fight when cornered.

Inkling
Child sized golems constructed from hexed ink and sublimated shadow.  Though they possess a doglike susceptibility to affection, inklings are also the cruelest of the golems.
HD 2 Speed 1.5 × human, climb
Armor none Attack claws d4
Morale 8 Alignment Neutral

  • Viscous. Inklings can squeeze through any space larger than a coin.
  • Permeable. Inklings take d4 damage per Round in lightless environments as their substance bleeds off into the ambient darkness.

jacinto classes, clerics, intro, never read balzac, new age dnd

the weather in Goriat is lovely this time of year

Almost finished with the first chunk of Albion, but I have been less and less happy with and more and more stressed about it lately, which means it is time to think about other things for a while.

You are on the remote Isle of Goriat. Centuries ago, the island’s technologically advanced ancient inhabitants tried to capture Goriat’s tutelary wind deity for long-forgotten but assuredly unsavory purposes. This killed off most of them, and the god’s been missing ever since. Goriat is now cut off from the rest of the world, because without the god there are neither wind nor currents for hundreds of miles around the island.

You are in Hame, the last surviving settlement on Goriat, located where the River Wry flows into the sea. Most of Hame’s several hundred residents survive on subsistence farming and fishing, but you’re different. You scavenge for treasure in the ruins your ancestors built.

      CHARACTER CREATION
      Attribute scores work like LotFP:

      from lamentations of the flame princess

      Attribute/Skill checks
      Roll a d20 under Relevant Attribute+Relevant Skill. Always fail on a 20. You get a +1 to your class skills every odd level, including level 1.

      List of skills:
      Athletics
      Charm
      Dowse
      Lore
      Mechanics
      Medicine
      Perception
      Profession (pick a specialty, like singing or smithing or masonry)
      Nature
      Scare
      Sleight of Hand
      Stealth

      JOBS

      • You have HD equal to your level. Reroll them every time you rest. Add your Constitution modifier to the total.
      • There are no saving throws, only ability checks. Skills can help you out in certain save-like situations (Lore to resist magic, Nature to resist disease, etc)
      • Experience is based on DCCRPG. It takes 10 * level additional XP to reach the next level. Fights, heists, delves, and so on net you 1-4 XP each.

      from Bravely Default

      Warrior
      Class skills: Athletics + 1 more of your choice
      Equipment: You can use any weapon or armor.
      Every odd level, you get +1 to attack rolls. Every even level you get +1 to damage rolls.
      Choose a specialty:
      Virtue: You know one random boon as an ascetic
      Anger: You can rage (deal double damage, take half damage, advantage on Strength checks) for one fight per day.
      Simplicity: You deal d6+1 damage with your unarmed attacks. Your base AC when not wearing Armor is 14.   

      Beast Child

      from persona

      Class skills: Nature + 1 more of your choice
      Equipment: You cannot use metal weapons and are untrained in the use of armor. 
      Beast Children can turn into animals. In order to be able to turn into an animal, a Beast Child must possess a trophy, acquired by defeating the creature in a fight, such as a scale, fang, or piece of hide. The animal can be of any level, and trophies always count as significant items for purposes of encumbrance. When a Beast Child changes shape, only their trophies change with them. All other equipment falls to the ground.

      You can either start as an animal with a human trophy or an animal with a human trophy. Pick from dog, crow, spider, or monkey.

      from suikoden
      from suikoden

      Shaman

      Class skills: Lore  + 1 more of you choice
      Equipment: You can use simple weapons and are untrained in the use of armor.
      Go here. If I don’t get around to fixing it, summoning a spirit takes a number of Rounds equal to its HD, not hours.

      from Disgaea

      Specialist
      Class skills: See below
      Equipment: You can use simple and martial weapons and are trained in the use of light armor.
      You start with 4 skill points, to distribute among any skills you wish. You gain 2 more skill points every time you gain a level.

      Ascetic/Monk/Nun

      from tactics ogre: wheel of fortune

      Class skills: Dowse + 1 more of your choice
      Equipment: You can use simple weapons and are not trained in the use of armor.
      You start with 2 random boons from the longer list. You can learn more by reading sutras, liturgies, and exegeses, or training under an abbot. To cast a boon, you must chant the associated prayer, mantra, or passage of scripture. For each Round of chanting, there is a 1 in 6 chance the boon will take effect. 

      EQUIPMENT
      You start with 1 weapon d8+Cha mod things. You can carry a number of significant items equal to your Strength score. You are assumed to have the bags necessary to haul this stuff around.

      Weapons
      Ranged weapons automatically come with 12 pieces of ammunition.

      • Simple weapons deal d6-1 damage. They are usually improvised tools, such as staves, pitchforks, wrenches, or baseball bats.
      • Martial weapons deal d6 damage. They are designed to kill, and include short swords, axes, pikes, bows, and most firearms
      • Expert weapons deal d6+1 damage. They require special training or two hands, and include fancy swords, crossbows, battleaxes, and stuff like sniper rifles or flamethrowers.

      Armor

      • Light armor gives you AC 14+Dex mod AC
      • Heavy armor gives you AC 16 AC
      • Shields give you +1 AC   

      Gear 

      1. Two-way radio
      2. Solar-powered lamp (recharges with 1/hour of sunlight, but lasts as long as 1 torch)
      3. 4 torches
      4. Bag of ball bearings
      5. Toolkit
      6. Portable computer
      7. 1 stick of dynamite
      8. map of the island
      9. 1 week’s worth of rations
      10. a mule
      11. 50′ of rope
      12. bottle of propitiatory wine
      13. sack of golden lotus powder
      14. first aid kit
      15. Ritual kit (useful for summoners)
      16. Holy symbol (useful for monks)
      17. Grappling hook
      18. 12 pieces of extra ammunition 
      19. Compass
      20. 3d6 dollars.

      GORIAT 20 QUESTIONS 

      1. What is the deal with my cleric’s religion?
        • Ascetics draw on the celestial power of Heaven through prayers, chants, and mantras. The particular divinity is up to you, but the deities of heaven usually pertain to the sun, sky, and stars.
        • Shamans draw their power from the capricious spirit allies, whose natures and abilities are innumerable. People tend to be super suspicious of shamans though–they don’t like spirits being brought into town.
      2. Where can we go to buy standard equipment?
        • The Hamely Bazaar! I abstractify (???) equipment purchasing, unless you’re buying something interesting.
      3. Where can we go to get platemail custom fitted for this monster I just befriended?
        •  The people of Hame have little tolerance for those who traffic with the creatures of the wild, but Blacksmith Artesse might be able to hammer something together if you do him a favor on the side.
      4. Who is the mightiest wizard in the land?
        •  There are no wizards left of Goriat, though the rogue shaman Gnomon and his mortal enemy Sister Naomi have the greatest supernatural power.
      5. Who is the greatest warrior in the land?
        •  Sir Belvedere (not a knight in any legal sense) is Hame’s monster-hunter du jour. Well equipped, in the possession of many followers, and possessing a keen eye for licensing, Belvedere is universally considered an absolute dick by the adventuring crowd.
      6. Who is the richest person in the land?
        • Money only does so much on Goriat, but the Argus family has the most of it. There farms and livestock are almost suspiciously fecund.
      7. Where can we go to get some magical healing?
        • The ascetics of the Abbey or the shamans of the Empty Shrine, both a day’s travel from town, are your best bet.
      8. Where can we go to get cures for the following conditions: poison, disease, curse, level drain, lycanthropy, polymorph, alignment change, death, undeath?
        1. See above
      9. Is there a magic guild my MU belongs to or that I can join in order to get more spells?
        1. Monks and nuns can acquire the mantras for new boons at the Abbey, while shamans can acquire new summoning rites at the Empty Shrine. Both would require pretty significant favors.
      10. Where can I find an alchemist, sage or other expert NPC?
        • The engineers and hackers Hame tend to hang out at Artesse’s garage.
      11. Where can I hire mercenaries?
        1. Just post a bulletin in Hame. Don’t expect anyone on top of their game, though.
      12. Is there any place on the map where swords are illegal, magic is outlawed or any other notable hassles from Johnny Law?
        • Even the town is subject to incursions from animals, spirits, and rogue golems, so carrying weapons is accepted and expected. Magic is tolerated, but openly summoning or commanding spirits in Hame is a bad idea.
      13. Which way to the nearest tavern?
        • The Fountain of Dust is Hame’s preeminent watering hole and inn. There are nicer digs out there, but they’ll cost you more.
      14. What monsters are terrorizing the countryside sufficiently that if I kill them I will become famous?
        •  The Ocularium, a rogue clay golem
        • Bathsheba, a freakishly large cougar with a commensurate appetite.
      15. Are there any wars brewing I could go fight?
        •  Not really. There’s a bandit encampment parked on a desert spring to the northwest, though.
      16. How about gladiatorial arenas complete with hard-won glory and fabulous cash prizes?
        •  The Iron Ring in Hame holds a year-long tournament with weekly fights.
      17. Are there any secret societies with sinister agendas I could join and/or fight?
        • Mmmmmmaybe
      18. What is there to eat around here?
        •  Vegetables! Chicken and fish if you can pay!
      19. Any legendary lost treasures I could be looking for?
        • Anyone who can find Goriat’s lost wind god has a ticket off the island.
        • The legendary gun Ultima Ratio
        • The Night God’s Bow
      20. Where is the nearest dragon or other monster with Type H treasure?
        • Far to the north is a tower that juts from the earth like a nail from flesh. It is terribly tall and terribly dark and only terrible things live inside.
        jacinto is this gonna work, new age dnd, Pernicious Albion, type v

        Lamentations of the Fifth Princess

        I actually like having a robust skill system. I don’t like players using skills to bludgeon past making choices. As a compromise, my new golden rule is: The player always explains their in-game actions, then the Referee tells them what skill they use. Saying “I use [skill]” means you automatically fail your next roll.

        Still using LotFP HP, XP, and Spells. Using 5e’s equipment, skill, and armor system.

        Your proficiency bonus equals 2. Increase it by 1 every 4 levels, or just use the 5e Player’s Handbook. Everyone is assumed to be proficient in armor; only Fighters, Barbarians, and Paladins are proficient with weapons.

        Fighters

        • add their proficiency bonus to attack rolls, rather than level
        • add their proficiency bonus to Strength and Dexterity saving throws 
        • Fighters can make a number of attacks on their turn equal to half their proficiency bonus, rounded down.

        Barbarians

        • Add their proficiency bonus to attack rolls
        • add their proficiency bonus to Strength and Constitution saving throws
        • Barbarians take half damage, deal double damage, and have advantage on Strength checks when they rage. They can rage once per short rest.
        • XP as Fighter

        Paladins

        • Add their proficiency bonus to attack rolls
        • Add their proficiency bonus to Constitution and Wisdom saving throws
        • Once per short rest, paladins can cast spells a cleric spell with a level less than or equal to half their level, rounded up
        • Spell Save DC = 8+proficiency bonus+Wis modifier
        • XP as Fighter

        Specialists

        • Have a number of mastered skills/tools  equal to half their proficiency bonus, rounded down. Specialists have advantage by default on mastered skills.
        • Start with 2 extra skills and 2 extra tools/languages
        • When they attack a surprised or inattentive enemy, they add their proficiency bonus to the attack roll and roll an extra number of damage dice equal to their proficiency bonus. 
        • add their proficiency bonus to Strength and Dexterity saving throws 

        Magic-user/Magician

        • Spell Save DC = 8+proficiency bonus+Int modifier
        • know a number of cantrips equal to their proficiency bonus. You can choose cantrips from any class list, but it can’t cause damage or shed light. You can still choose Produce Flame, but it deals d6 damage and doesn’t deal increasing damage.
        • add their proficiency bonus to Intelligence and Wisdom saving throws

        Summoners

        • Add their proficiency bonus to Ritual Checks instead of their level
        • can Turn Spirits once per short rest
        • add their proficiency bonus to Wisdom and Charisma saving throws

        Warlocks

        • Favor Save DC = 8+proficiency bonus+Cha modifier
        • Know a number of additional languages equal to half their proficiency bonus, rounded down.
        • add their proficiency bonus to Intelligence and Charisma saving throws

        Background
        Pick four skills and a total of two tool and language proficiencies. Pick a background ability from the 5e basic pdf or handbook, whichever is available. If you have an idea that’s not in the book, let me know and we can work it out. Then give your background a name that explains how you have these skills (Scholar, Beggar, Assassin, whatever)

        Skills

        • Persuasion and Deception are now Charm
        • Athletics and Acrobatics are now just Athletics. 
        • Survival and Nature are now one skill. The only reason you’d have both is to distinguish a hunter from a botanist, and I don’t fucking care about that. 
        • Insight and Investigation are gone.
        • Performance is gone

        Animal Handling
        Arcana
        Athletics
        Charm
        History
        Intimidation
        Medicine
        Perception
        Nature
        Religion
        Sleight of Hand
        Stealth

        Tools
        In addition to the default:
        Barber’s tools
        Dowsing Rod
        Medic’s kit
        Voice (I know it’s not a tool, but I don’t like Performance as a skill, and an Albion without opera singers in no Albion at all)

        Languages
        Picking a language from this list means you can read it and speak it. Everyone already speaks English, so pick it again if you want to be literate.

        Ara Gorash, language of abomination 
        Britonnic,  the old tongue of Albion
        Elegaic, language of the greater dead
        English
        Enochian, language of angels
        Fol, language of the fairies
        Lament, language of the lesser dead and the damned
        Mew, the language of cats

        jacinto encounters, LotFP, monsters, Pernicious Albion, table

        Albion Encounter Tables

        Albion’s wilderness encounter tables use 3d6. I like the distribution on this–the tail ends of the bell curve have scary/useful NPCs, while the middle bits have more common monsters and criminals.

        Another trick I’m interested in trying is having monster/NPC behavior tied to the number you encounter. For example, if the Referee determines that the party encounters d6 goblins, a roll of 2 or less means that you meet 2 goblins fleeing from something else on the encounter table, while a roll of 5 or more means they are hauling a little extra treasure after a victory. This lets you vary encounters more without relying in longer tables or lots of extra dice rolling.

        3d6 In the windy moors of Albion…

        • 3: The Morrígan (ancient Britonnic war-witch, majordomo of the House of Death, potential warlock signatory)
        • 4: Merchant with 2d6 bodyguards; if there are 9+, they plan on robbing their employer
        • 5: Noble with 2d6 bodyguards; if there are 9+, they are transporting a prisoner
        • 6: d6+3 knights; if there are 7+, they have sworn fealty to the lord of the nearest domain; on a 6-, they are on a mission from a distant domain
        • 7: d6+3 Watcher Cultists
        • 8: Shepherd (armed with a gun) with d6+1 Albion hounds and 3d6 sheep
        • 9: Malkin (enormous, evil cats)
        • 10: 2d6 bandits; if there are 10+, they are hauling £2d100 in trade goods
        • 11: 2d6 wolves; if there are 10+, they are attacking another creature on this table
        • 12: 2d6 Britons; if there are 7+, they are being pursued by constables
        • 13: Spakehound
        • 14: d6 Wights
        • 15: 2d6 Vampires, level equals 13-No. Appearing. Masquerading as (1-Nobles 2-Magician and servants 3-Bandits 4-Knights)
        • 16. 2d6 Werewolves, level equals 13-No. Appearing. Masquerading as (1-Bandits 2-Britons 3-Merchant and bodyguards 4-Hunters)
        • 17. Magician and d6 bodyguards. If there are 4+, the magician intends to use them in a ritual
        • 18. Lady of Joy-forgotten (sybaritic fairy-noble recently banished from her domain by a rival aristocrat)
        jacinto amateur hour, classes, clerics, is this gonna work, LotFP, monsters, rituals

        propagating my incompetence

        Edited the new warlock, but that doesn’t warrant a whole post on it own. I’ve been trying to get this patron system right for over two years, ever since I tried to glue World of Dungeons magic onto LotFP when one of my players cut a deal with The Man With A Clock For A Face.

        With aching slowness, I am teaching myself InDesign. Here’s a thing I made for practice. Thinking my post-Albion project will be a monster hunt/pokécrawl.

        painting by John Singer Sargent

        illustrations by Harry Clarke

        pdf is available here