Actions by Agents Unknown


So Throne is an angel of questionable sanity and reaching ambition, the leader of a desperate host on a radiation-scoured, magic-riddled hell-planet that is partially occupied by the forces of Hell. He says he is embarking on a Project, which will transform Carcosa into Eden and restore the Grigori to the heavens. Others say his Project will turn him into a tinpot godling, while other say it will once and for all wipe out all (un)life on Carcosa, while others say his real Project is even more glorious than what he says it is, while other say there is no project at all, while…
The main thing is that it is hard to tell who’s good, who’s bad, who’s sane, who’s in the know, and who’s lying. Reinforcing that is this handy random table, which will provide a confusing background to the party’s active interaction with angels, demons, and other factions who may or may not have a stake in the Project’s outcome.

When the players attract the attention of angels or their enemies, there is a 50% chance of one of the following occurring sometime during a session. If the rolled event seems improbable or impossible, work it in anyway. NPCs and monsters will never acknowledge any conspiracy character or event under any circumstances. Particularly stupid NPCs might seem unsettled in their presence. The conspiracy NPCs will not appear in front of anything truly powerful, like a god or fairy-lord. Conspiracy NPCs  never interact with other NPCs or their environment, except through the party. Depending on their nature, they might show up when rolled even if previously dead or imprisoned.
 1. The Lady in Red

She tends in to blend in with her environment—shell be dressed as an aristocrat in a high class neighborhood, as a prisoner in dungeons, as a traveler on the road—but her clothes are always red.

  1. There is no Throne. It’s really just Something Else hiding its true nature for its own inscrutable(r) purposes.
  2. You need to listen. The Others will make her do this over and over until you get it right. Await further instructions.
  3. The last person the party talked to is actually an agent of the so-called Grigori. Kill them.
  4. One of The Others’ most dangerous enemies is hunting you. He wears yellow, and he has killed before.
  5. She has broken free from the control of the Others! They are evil and the Grigori are good. You must disregard all of her previous instructions.
  6. no, no, NO. The last time you met her was her evil twin. You must ignore all her previous statements.

2. The Man in Yellow

He operates identically to the Lady in Red, but he is always in yellow clothes.
  1. He can hear the Angels. They don’t know he can hear them, be he can. Hear them, that is. They are planning something terrible.
  2. Don’t drink the water. It’s filled with the Angel’s poison. You’ll believe anything they tell you if you drink it.
  3. Always cover up your windows. The Angels like to watch you sleep.
  4. There is a child in black, who draws strange things. They know what’s going on, but that doesn’t mean you can trust them.
  5. There is a terrible Engine deep beneath the capital. If you destroy it, the Angels’ plans will be for naught.
  6. He violently attacks the party, saying he can see the Angels inside them.  

3. The Child in Black

Never says anything. Always wears a ragged black coat. Otherwise operates as the Lady in Red does. 

  1. Is standing over a chalk picture of a man and woman, both in suits. There is a stylized eye drawn above each of their heads.
  2. Is standing over a chalk picture of an angel with two faces.  One is angry, while the other is smiling.
  3. Is standing over a chalk picture of a figure seated on a throne. He has no face.
  4. Is standing over a chalk picture of a burning gate with many hands reaching out of it.
  5. Is standing over the following message, written in chalk, “THE RING HAS FOR YEARS BEEN SYMBOLIC OF ALL GYNO EDUCATE AND HYDRATE AND ESCAPE OUR ENFETTERMENT AS THE INDIGO CLOUDS RISE OVER THE ZENITH INTO THE ARCHIPELAGO OF OUR CERTAIN DREAMS AND WE WILL ESCAPE THE BOUNDLESS RIVER OF AZRAELS SACRED JEWELRY*.”
  6. Is standing over the following message, written in chalk, “THIS NEW DAY IN THE PRIMARY AGE OF SUBTERFUGE GENDER WILL BE CONFOUNDED AND SEX WILL NO LONGER BE THE HEGEMONIC SPRING OF LIFE NO LOVE IS THE BLACK DEATH THAT HAS INFECTED US TO OUR VERY CORE WE ONCE NEVER SUCCUMBED TO THE LUSH GRAYNESS OF SLEEP THE ZOAS ARE OUR ONE HOPE*.”

4. Richard and Eleanor

They are polite, aristocratic, slightly condescending. They offer you cigarettes with immaculately gloved hands. They are both dressed in fine suits of black silk. Their expressions are impassive, and while they always stand next to each other, they never quite touch. 

  1. “We do soappreciate your work. Will you accept a token of our esteem?” They offer the party a briefcase containing a single random angelic weapon.
  2. “Don’t bother reading that dreadful graffiti. It’s simply hellish.”
  3. “You didn’t hear it from me, but there’s an angel sniffing around. Take care. Wouldn’t want to get caught up in anything compromising, now would we?” An angel of a random Sphere is now pursuing the party as if they had stolen its weapon.
  4. During a fight or confrontation, Richard and Eleanor watch the party through a shared pair of opera glasses, preferably from a great distance or difficult to reach location. They applaud if the party does well.
  5. “Hmm. It seems they’ll let just anyone in here these days. Watch out for the riff raff” As soon as Richard and Eleanor are out of sight, a powerful demon attacks the party.
  6. “How we hate to see you struggle.” Richard and Eleanor hand the party a key. It will open the next locked door they encounter.

5. The Grafitti

It will appear on any flat surface. Always dripping red paint.

  1. THRONE IS SHIT
  2. FUK THE GRIGORi
  3. WE WATCHING U BUT WE ARN’T WATCHERS
  4. ANGEL’S WIL KILL U
  5. WE R GOING TO EAT UR BONES
  6. SEE YOU SOON

6. The Pedestrians

Random passers-by in crowds. If there are none of those, then adapt the event for humanoid monsters or animals.

  1. Make an elaborate hand-signal while making eye contact with a member of the party
  2. Say “The Watchers are watching” over and over again under their breath.
  3. For a moment, their eyes and mouth burn gold and white.
  4. Lift their hands, revealing wings tattooed onto their palms. They will not be there if you look again.
  5. Steadily staring at the party as they walk past. Their neck will rotate up to 180 degrees to facilitate this.
  6. White feathers tumble from their sleeves.

Who Art In Spaceships

Now automated by the generous Logan of Last Grasp Grimoire.

In Pernicious Albion, the Space Aliens have been replaced by the Grigori, a host of angels exiled from the heavens for reasons unknown, possibly even to them. 
George Frederick Watts
They are led by the angel known as Throne, who ate his own name to conceal it from sorcerers. He is trying to find a way to earn back the Grigori’s place in heaven through virtuous acts, but because he is thinking for himself for the first time since Creation and because his brain is slowly being cooked by gamma radiation, the Grigori’s virtue sometimes manifests itself in erratic and/or homicidal ways. However, the Grigori are still angels, and will never allow what they perceive to be harm to befall anyone they perceive to be innocent. 
alien abduction

Adventurers sometimes encounter the lost or abandoned weaponry of the Grigori, who do not appreciate thieves. Stats are written for World of Dungeons, but I have included rough conversions for DnD-like games. All angelic weaponry has a range of 300 feet and deals +d6 damage to demons and the undead.

Former Owner (no angel of the First or Second Sphere has been exiled). More powerful weapons means a more powerful owner, who will go to great lengths to get it back.

1.       Missing. Roll again on this table to determine damage.
2.      Angel of the Third Sphere. Device deals  3d6 damage
3.      Angel of the Fourth Sphere. Device deals 2d6 damage
4.      Angel of the Fifth Sphere. Device deals 1d6+3 damage
5.      Angel of the Sixth Sphere. Device deals 1d6+2 damage
6.      Angel of the Seventh Sphere. Device deals 1d6+1 damage

Device
1.       Hierogram, to be embedded in wielder’s palm
2.      Trumpet, 1 handed
3.      Crosier, 2 handed
4.      Icon, human sized
5.      Giant Armor, 5 Armor/18 AC, piloted 

6.      Chariot, piloted  

Power
1. 1d6 uses
2. 2d6 uses
3. 3d6 uses
4. 4d6 uses
5. 5d6 uses
6. 6d6 uses
   

Adorned with…

1.       Beautiful Wings
2.      Exquisite Faces
3.      Slender Hands
4.      Watchful Eyes
5.      Heavenly Verse
6.      Celestial Diagrams

Wrought from… (roll twice)

1.       Gold
2.      Silver
3.      Platinum
4.      Jet
5.      Ivory
6.      Alabaster

Medium. Vanishes after impact

1.       Radiant Flame
2.      Brilliant Arrows
3.      Spears of Lightning
4.      Invisible Force
5.      Shining Spheres
6.      Spirals of Molten Gold

Trajectory

1.       Medium plummets from heavens to target (doesn’t work inside, but will ruin the roof)
2.      Medium launches in a straight line from device
3.      Medium issues in a cone shape from device
4.      Medium erupts from target’s orifices
5.      Medium erupts from ground beneath target (can’t strike high-flying targets)
6.      Medium forms a circle around user, than lashes outward

Miraculous Properties

Each device has a 1 in 6 chance of having one of the following:
1.       Survivors of this weapon’s attack are branded with a sigil that prevents them from lying
2.      This weapon can take on the shape and properties of any melee weapon at the will of its wielder
3.      Wielder can sacrifice this device to bring the recently dead to life, though there are side-effects
4.      Those slayed by this weapon have a 1 in 6 chance of returning as 1 HP cherubs loyal to the wielder
5.      Wielder can use this device to summon any angel whose true name they know
6.      If the wielder defeats or finds the device’s original owner, they can call upon the angel’s domain/cast a single cleric spell once a day.

 

Bayonetta concept art



WoD to DnD-ish damage conversion

WoD damage
DnD Damage
D6
D4
D6+1
D6
D6+2
D8
D6+3
D10
2d6
d12

For the Creation of Decadent Noble Clans

My Secret Santicore submission, now automated for your convenience.

House
  1. Adelphus
  2. Cavendish
  3. Cromlech
  4. Crowley
  5. Gladstone
  6. Herpetou
  7. Lascelle
  8. Prestor
  9. Salazar
  10. Savile
Secret
  1. Bound to a demon by pacts most ancient and foul
  2. Caper and cavort in wicked midnight bacchanals
  3. Prophesied to bring about terrible catastrophe
  4. Ruled by a cabal of vampires
  5. Plan to overturn the rightful ruler of the land
  6. Participating in a conspiracy of centennial length and ecumenical proportions
  7. Desire to resurrect their inhuman clan progenitor
  8. Bloodline bears a terrible disease
  9. Dream every night of mighty conflagration and unending flood
  10. Patriarch is actually a woman
Source of Power
  1. Ties to Church
  2. Sheer privilege
  3. Scholarly talent
  4. Organized crime
  5. Ties to government
  6. Military might
  7. Sorcery
  8. Popular support
  9. Banking
  10. Business
Leader
  1. Ruled by grotesque appetites and uncanny predilections
  2. Cheerfully inbred moron
  3. Avuncular, seasoned statesman; loves them some prostitutes
  4. Oscillates between mostly kindly pragmatism and frothing psychopathy
  5. Megalomaniacal genius with childlike sensibilities
  6. Child kept on short leash by manipulative handlers
  7. Seized by Byronic melancholy; addicted to opium; writes terrible poetry
  8. A sorcerer of prodigious talent and boundless ambition
  9. Saintly sense of morals with sinister bearing; is squeaky clean despite everyone’s suspicions
  10. Innumerable, public affairs make for endless rumor-mill grist; loathed by spouse
Relationship
  1. Longtime allies of…
  2. Leader in love with head of…
  3. Ancient rivals of…
  4. Shadow war with…
  5. Secret treaty with…
  6. Wants a political marriage with…
  7. Seeks to utterly destroy…
  8. Attempting hostile takeover of…
  9. Owes a big favor to…
  10. Petty grudge against…
Stronghold
  1. Gilt palace riddled with chapels
  2. Decrepit manor surrounded by toiling peasants
  3. Frigid northern castle
  4. Contemporary urban estate
  5. Dour converted abbey
  6. Imposing mountain fortress
  7. Gothic monstrosity out in the forest
  8. Abominably gauche rococo estate
  9. Classical lakeside villa
  10. Sepulcral subterranean complex
Wealth
  1. Valuable but illiquid holdings
  2. Wealthy, but not for long
  3. Massive reserves, little income
  4. Steady cash flow
  5. Middling wealth, lots of embezzlement
  6. Razor thin margins
  7. Impoverished
  8. Nobody’s sure, exactly
  9. Incalculably wealthy
  10. Make a lot, spend a lot
Dubious Allies
  1. Elite mercenaries wearing crow’s head helmets
  2. The Beldame, a virtuoso assassin with a thing for needles
  3. The Magus Bashool, a necromancer of questionable loyalties and troubling ethics
  4. Pack of half-starved, semi-trained, and uncannily sapient wolves
  5. Red Madama, an insane butterfly demon
  6. King of Knots, gallows-spirit and malign ghost of a long dead monarch
  7. Rompa, shark-toothed sea giant who has power over ice
  8. Trugulore and Choss, Attorneys-At-Brawl
  9. No-Face Man, can crawl through mirrors and dreams
  10. Unnamed rogue angel; once held power over mercy, now seriously reconsidering

Witch 2.0

Finally got to playtest the my LotFP-ified Warlock class in Akenia’s Spire of Asmodal. I think the core idea works, but I suspect the class as written would remove some of the need to plan carefully at lower levels and scale poorly with level. At level 1, it makes sense that for a witch to struggle to magic open a door, but at level 20, they should be able to at least try to throw around boulders. 
 
final fantasy xiv
 Witch
 HP and experience as Cleric; saves and weapon and armor restrictions as magic-user

All witches have a wand, which they need to cast spells. They can cast spells as many times as they wish, and casting a spell takes the same amount of time as attacking in combat. The range of a witch’s spells is equal to 20*level feet. A spell can replicate the effect of any simple weapon, tool, or mechanical object, such as a torch, grappling hook, bow and arrow, or ladder. Players must describe what a spell actually looks like.


Witches start with a 1 in 6 chance of successfully casting any given spell, and if they fail a spell, they must wait 1 round (10 min) before they can try it again. They can allocate spell points to a spell in order to increase its odds of success. Witches start with 4 spell points, and gain 2 more every level. The list of spells is not set; players can invent them, as long as they fit the parameters for witch magic stated above. 

The maximum number of spells a witch can have active at one time is half level, rounded up. Otherwise, spells last until dismissed. If a spell involves particularly strong resistance on the part of the target, the Witch must make a Charisma check with a bonus equal to their level.
 

Sample Spell List

Aegis (shield)
Ascendance (pulley)
Adherence (rope or chain)
Attraction (grappling hook)
Destruction (bow and arrow)
Incandescence (torch)
Inscription (marker)
Quicken (roller skates)
Repulsion (pole)

If you find skill points too fussy, just use the Elf skill progression for Search as the skill for all witch spells, the way Tales of the Grotesque and Dungeonesque uses Hear Noise column for all thief abilities.

World of Lamentations

So games with others is on a wicked cool Dark Souls kick, and it got me thinking about the kinds of NPCs I would have in such a game. It also made me want to get around to hacking a less forgiving version, more LotFP-like version of World of Dungeons. I briefly considered calling it World of Princesses, but that’s another game.

Perish is an island-nation-continent that exists in an endless state of darkness. It is also a megadungeon. There is no real civilization, just a handful of scavenging settlements and a half-dozen domains run by slowly dying, half-mad godlings. The fact that the characters are on Perish means that they have, sometime before level 1, screwed up in an extraordinary way. The main things to do on Perish are finding out how to get off or, if you are particularly ambitious, figuring out how it ended up being such a terrible place. The two tasks may not be completely unrelated. 

Denizens of the Land of Perish
Diminished Gods
Centuries ago, something killed the God of the Sun, which plunged nearly all of Perish into perpetual night. Time has consumed many of the details, but some think one, some, or all of the surviving gods were involved. Whoever committed the crime likely knows where the missing Sun God’s soul is, which is necessary to bring light back to the Sun. 

As I imagine this, all of the following details are extremely valuable and difficult to find—this is a sort of megadungeon murder mystery, so facts have to be scarce on the ground for this to work.

  1. Vast, the Verdant Wyrm presides over the Febric Wood. Some say it lured the Sunlit God to the place of his murder with the promise of a gift. Its favored children are the Great Stags and their riders, the Horned Hunters, who prey on the slavering beasts of the Wood.
  2. Ixion, Envoy of the Many Dead rules the Elysian Demimonde. He claims to serve the innumerable infernal powers of the Underworld, and it is rumored that they compelled him to betray the Sunlit God, his greatest and most beloved ally. His greatest servants are the Asphodel Maidens, who wear red in their hair, and the Knights of Gules, who rot inside their armor.
  3. Haeme, Princess of the Splendid Dead holds court in the Manse Macabre. She loathes Ixion and his affinity for shambling masses of restless Dead, but her hatred of the God of the Sun and his searing daylight is legendary. Her most powerful servitors are the Sanguine Coterie, who admit only vampires of the purest of bloodlines , and the Midnight Choir, whose choristers can wound with their song.
  4. Vercingetorix, the Golden Hero reigns from the top of the Tower of Blades. There are those who suspect that only the skill and sword of such a warrior could kill the God of Sunlight, but his Soldiers of Fortunes and Auric Priests believe in nothing but his virtue.
  5. Elagabulus, Lord of Dusk can be found in the chambers of his father’s Solar Palace, where he drafts his plans to reignite the Sun. Surviving histories note that the courier who reported the Sunlit God’s death found the Lord already sitting in his father’s throne. The Crepuscule Wanderers and the Archivists number his most devoted followers 
  6. Martel, Radiant Envoy of the Moon dwells with her servants in the Lunary Gardens.  The cynical note that where the power of the Sun has failed, the Moon hangs steady in the sky, but Perish would be truely lightless her illumination, attenuated as it is. The Knights Nightingale and the Plangent Dreamers attend to her dutifully.

Strange Wanderers
There is a 1 in 6 chance a random wanderer will be waiting for you in a place of safety when you arrive.

  1.  The Scholar of Clabrous is dressed in antiquated finery and wears a crow mask at all times. It rewards with Soul anyone who brings it fresh specimens of the blood, flesh, or bone of any creature, though it favors rare or exotic creatures. No one knows what the Scholar does with these substances, or how it is able to wander as it wishes unharmed.
  2. Newt is a pallid little boy with great dark eyes and sharp pearly teeth who sells rumors, stories, maps, and ciphers, though he insists all his customers buy them sight unseen. He hates the light of the moon.
  3. Charles is a spider the size of a large dog with a man’s face on its thorax. It lives in a place it calls the Eaves, which shares a border with nearly everywhere. For a fee of Soul, it can lead you on a shortcut through the Eaves to almost anywhere you please, though you may not come out the same way you went in.
  4. Starlit Witch Imanta wears veils of silver thread and a red crown. She will summon forth loyal servitors from the space between stars in return for Soul, but these beings require a steady supply of yet more Soul to stay in this world
  5. Sariat the Weaver is wrapped head to toe in pristine white bandages. She will lift curses, purge poisons, mend wounds, and obliterate traumatic memories for a price.
  6. Rosario the Greatsmith bears a hammer of black stone and his forge burns with ancient flame. He will forge Soul into wondrous weapons and armor, but his prices are astronomical.

And here’s how the game is played.

The Primary Rule
When you attempt a task that is difficult or carries grave consequences for failure, roll 2d6+relevant attribute. 

  • On a 10+, you enjoy the fruits of your success. 
  •  On a 7-9, you succeed partially or pay a cost for achieving your goal. 
  • On a 6-, you fail, and bad things happen to you.

Character Advancement
When creatures in Perish are slain, they leave behind Soul equal in value to their level. Soul is required to recover HP—when you receive healing by any means, whether it be natural or magical, you must expend Soul equal to actually regain the HP. It can be used to level up, as well as acquire equipment, spells, servants, and information, though  entities that traffic in Soul are rare and seldom pleasant to deal with.

Gaining a level requires the expenditure of 10*current level Soul. When you gain a level, you gain d6 HP and gain abilities as determined by you class. You may also forgo all other benefits of leveling up to increase an attribute by 1, to a maximum of +1. 

    Character Creation
    The six attributes are Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. For each attribute, roll 1d6. 

    • On a 6, the attribute is +1
    • On a 2-5, the attribute is 0
    • On a 1, that attribute is -1 

    You begin your misadventure with d6 HP and pick one of the following classes.

    Warrior
    You add your level to damage rolls and start with 6 additional HP

    Thief
    You have skills. When you make a roll to which a skill is applicable, add that skill’s bonus, in addition to the relevant attribute, to the roll. You start with +1 in every skill. When you gain a level, you can increase a single skill’s bonus by 1, to a maximum of +2.

    • Architecture
    • Bushcraft 
    • Climb  
    • Languages 
    • Sleight of Hand 
    • Stealth 
    • Tinker 

    In short, thieves roll 2d6+relevant attribute+relevant skill 

    Magic-User
    You start with a single random spell, selected from a list determined by your college. You can cast any spell you know as much as you like. When you do, describe the exact effect you want the spell to have, and roll 2d6 with no modifiers. 

    • On a 10+, the spell succeeds, as safe as houses 
    • On a 7-9, the magic works somewhat, or it succeeds at a cost, whether it be in HP, Soul, or be some other turn for the worse.
    • On a 6-, something terrible happens.

    When you level up, you can either acquire an additional random spell or gain a +1 bonus to a spell you already know. You can choose this bonus no more than 2 times per spell.

    Sorcerers of the Dark College can learn the following spells. There may be others, waiting to be discovered by the cunning and perspicacious. 

    1. An incantation to extinguish light 
    2. A spell to bestir the Dead 
    3. A charm to commune with beasts 
    4. A conjuration to call forth a weapon 
    5. A glamour to change one’s form 
    6. An invocation to seal a pact

    Seers of the Celestial College can learn the following spells. There are others to be found, if you are prudent and pious.

    1. A spell to illuminate the darkness  
    2. A chant to banish the Dead 
    3. A petition to heal the wounded 
    4. An augury to peer into the past 
    5. A prayer to destroy enchantment 
    6. An orison to glimpse the future 

    Equipment
    You begin with d6 pieces of equipment of your choice from the Lamentation of the Flame Princess Miscellaneous list, in addition to the following:

    You start with a single weapon. It can be melee or ranged, though you begin play with only d6 pieces of ammunition

    • Light weapons require one hand, are easy to hide, and deal d6 damage on a hit
    • Martial weapons require one hand and deal d6+1 damage on a hit 
    • Huge weapons require two hands and deal d6+2 damage on a hit

    You start with a single piece of armor. It can be of any type.

    • Clothing reduces all damage received by 0+Constitution and allows the wearer to move quickly 
    • Light Armor reduces all damage received by 1+Constitution, and the wearer to move at moderate speed.
    • Heavy armor reduces all damage received by 2+Constitution, though the wearer moves slowly, loudly and struggles with activities such as climbing and swimming.

    Squamous and Noisome

    I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MANY SQUAMOUS BLOBS, CARCOSA. MAN CANNOT LIVE ON OOZE ALONE. Also, those rituals are pretty ick. Here’s replacements. I also like having fairly simple rituals because it means players can summon something on accident.


    SCION OF SUNLESS SEAS


    She stands taller than any man, and wears ruined finery. Her hair is black and her eyes are black and her teeth are black and she stands on a black barge, her ivory servants plying oars through depthless waters that were not there until she arrived.


    HD: 15

    AC: 14 (see description)

    Movement: 90” (boat only; she cannot leave it)

    Damage: d12 (touch, Save vs Paralyze or be knocked prone)

    Alignment: Chaotic


    The touch of the Scion crushes limbs and ruptures flesh as if they were exposed to the immense pressure of deep seas. The voice of the Scion is undeniable; she can cast the Cleric spell Command at will. Her barge can comfortably hold 4 additional people, but they are in reach of the Scion as well as her servants. It is not advisable to fall into the Scion’s waters; even her followers fear them.


    TO SUMMON: At sunrise, pour 20 HP worth of blood (not all necessarily from the same source) into a body of water that extends past the horizon. Wait past sunset, and she will arrive.


    TO BIND: If The Scion of Sunless Seas is ever separated from her barge, she must obey a single command of any length and complexity from the person who returns it to her.


    TO BANISH: If a silver nail inscribed with the Fifth Name of Providence is driven into the prow of her barge, the Scion will glide away, unable to return until summoned by a willing mortal.


    LORD HORATIO NELSON


    He’s still dressed in the finery they buried him in, and still wears the chains they tried to use to keep him in the ground. Nobody knows why Lord Nelson keeps on coming back, or why he’s so damn crazy, but everybody hopes he’ll just go away.


    HD: 20

    AC: 16

    Movement: 180”

    Damage: 2d6 (bite, heals amount equal to damage); 2d6 (cannon); +5 damage to French

    Alignment: Chaotic


    Lord Nelson is a vampire. He can move past obstacles and enemies by turning into a swarm of bats. He can cast Animate Dead and Animate Dead Monsters at will, but only on creatures he has killed himself. He can Charm anyone who makes eye contact with him. Lord Nelson is also completely insane. He is just as willing to command his undead servants and Charmed victims to reenact old victories in the middle of heated battle as he is to use them to depopulate entire towns. In a fight, he switches victims seemingly at random, singing bar songs all the while. Lord Nelson refers to his victims with aristocratic versions of their names, even if he has no way of knowing them.


    TO SUMMON: Burn an entire ship of the line* down to ash OR burn a piece of the HMS Victory in a marble bowl, and Lord Nelson will come scrambling as fast as he can.


    TO BIND: Lord Nelson must obey any legitimately issued royal order or decree read aloud in his presence, even if it was not written with him in mind. He has thus far avoided bondage by murdering anyone he sees with paper.


    TO BANISH: Smoke from any gunpowder recovered from the HMS Victory forces Lord Nelson to flee until the next sunrise. It also makes him very angry.
    *Is this right, Richard G?

    Pernicious Albion Character Creation

    Character creation is exactly the same as Lamentation of the Flame Princess, except that you pick a bloodline and choose from the following classes. You can assign attribute scores as you wish, but you can’t reroll attributes if the modifiers are negative.


    BLOODLINES
    All Pernicious PCs are approximately human, but there are several variations on that theme.
    1. New Londoner: You are from the city of New Londinium. Your cosmopolitan upbringing (and proximity to a slightly radioactive knowledge-goddess) has given you a talent for languages; you have +2 to your Languages skill
    2. Briton: You are from one of the chieftaincies beyond the grasp of New Londinium’s rulers. Your people made pacts with the spirits of the wild long ago; you can use your Bushcraft as Languages when attempting to communicate with animals.
    3. Roman: The Empire had a rich tradition of poorly conceived sorcerous experiments. It is this fact that deposited Albion into the middle of Carcosa, and it is this fact that infused the blood of all Romans with a lingering taint of undeath. You can cast Speak With Dead 1/day.
    4. Deep One: You are descended from one of the marine monstrosities from far beneath Albion’s seas and lakes. As you are some sort of hybrid between fish and human (the specifics of how this looks is up to you), you can move with equal speed through water and over land, and you can breathe underwater. 
    5. Tiefling: You are descended from one of the soldiers that took part in Hell’s semisuccessful invasion attempt a century ago. You can ignite a fist-sized flame in the palm of your hand at will. You can throw it or thrust it at your enemies to deal d4 damage. It lasts for 1 turn after it leaves your hand, sheds flickering light, and otherwise acts like a regular flame. 
    6. Changeling: You are descended from a bona fide fairy. You cannot utter a lie. Any promise made to you cannot be broken, and you cannot violate any oath you swear.
    7. Nephilim: You are descended from the race of giants born when exiled angels bred with humans. You are 6 to 8 feet tall and have a +1 to your Strength modifier. 
    8. Human: you and your ancestors are (rather improbably) unwarped by the magics, radiations, and influences of Carcosa, which makes you sensitive to malign presences. You can Detect Evil at will.
    CLASSES

    Cleric of The Grigori

    1. Cleric or Druid: as Lamentations of the Flame Princess Cleric. You are a priest, druid, or prophet for one of the gods or goddesses of Albion. You have access to 3 miracles (which depend on your deity), and you can cast them without preparing.
      1. Her Majesty Gloriana: Queen of Albion, Supreme Governor of New Londinium, Sovereign Goddess of Forbidden Knowledge and Black Magicks
        father dagon. by roryrory, distributed under creative commons
      2. Father Dagon: Patron of Deep Seas and the Beasts Therein
      3. Cernunnos: Horned God of Hunt and Wild
      4. The Morrigan: Black-winged Goddess of Crows and War
      5. Desdemona: Princess-Diabolic of the Iron City of Dis and General of the Infernal Expeditionary Army
      6. The Grigori: The Watchers, The Angels-In-Exile, The Banished Council, Fathers of Giants and Artifice
    2. Magician: as Lamentations of the Flame Princess Magic-User. You start with 4 random spells in your spellbook.
      a gentleman magician
    3. Fairy-Knight: as Lamentations of the Flame Princess Elf. You have sworn yourself into service for one of the great fairies of Albion. You are skilled at both magic and combat; you start with knowledge of 2 spells (which depend on your liege) and can cast any spell you know.
      fairy-knight of rose
      1. King of Roses Red: Fair Monarch of that Land Known as Earth and All Denizens of its Surface and Interior, Liege to the Knights of Rose and Knights of the Thorn
      2. The Regent of Midnight and Noon: Seneschal of All Hours, Steward of the House of Death, Lord of the Tower at the End of the World, Liege of the Knights Chronic
      3. Morgaine: Sorceress Supreme, Mother of All Witches, Sister of All Spiders, Keeper of the Last Breath of the True King, Founder of the Dark Knights
        Morgaine
      4. Gogma, the Last and Most Splendid of the Sea Giants, Mistress of the Castle Glaces, Benefactress of the Knights Undulant
    4. Fighter: as Lamentations of the Flame Princess Fighter. 
       

      fighter veteran

    5. Paladin: XP as Magic User, HP, Saves, and Spell Progression as Cleric; Attack Bonus as Fighter. You are a warrior who has taken holy vows to fight for one of Albion’s deities.
      1. Pick a deity from the Cleric list
    6. Specialist: as LotFP Specialist
      there are so many knives in that hat
    7. Wildling: HP as Dwarf. Skills, XP, and Saves as Halfling. You have learned to survive in the strange wilderness outside the walls of New Londinium. You can withstand more punishment than any other class.
      a wildling who is totally about to save vs death

    Post-Anglican Nightmare

    I want to run a World of Dungeons city crawl. I like WoD because it is so simple; statting up and running monsters is more about thinking over how they act and what they do instead of figuring out a bunch of attributes.

    THE DISTRICT OF PARADISE
    New Londinium is the oldest, grandest, and most horrible city in the world. Its districts and wards are innumerable and ancient, and some are more wild than the gently irradiated wasteland outside its walls.
     
    Hector Lascelle is a tinpot demiurge, and he has claimed the District of Paradise as his own. Nobody lives there anymore, save for Hector and his creations, attempts at recreating the spirits and divinities of Albion from before it went sour. Some say he is building a deity deep in his workshop; others claim he is constructing an artificial Hell to match his shoddy Heaven. Regardless, the most visible fruits of Hector’s labor are the strange, squalid angels he uses to police Paradise’s border, as well as steal supplies from neighboring districts.

    Chimaerical Servitor: child-sized angel simulacrum with the body of preserved dog and the dirty grey wings of a taxidermied pigeon. Wears a cracked porcelain mask depicting a fat baby face. Carries a rhinestone-studded bow and fire gangrenous arrows made of anything it can get its little wire hands on.
    HP: 6
    Armor: None
    Damage: d6-1
    Ability: Can shriek, fly quickly if clumsily, loves to steal 

    Leaden Perdition: their enormous faces are cast masks of terrible suffering, and their giant simian hands promise terrible violence. In the chest of every Leaden Perdition is a slowly spinning wax cylinder, playing a song that un-makes, un-knits, and generally un-happens everything in earshot. Nails shiver out of boards, cloth begins to fray, and flesh slowly unwinds off of bone. This also affects the Perdition itself, though if the cylinder stops spinning or is destroyed, the construct ceases to function.

    HP: 15
    Armor: 3
    Damage: d6+2
    Ability: 10 foot tall leaden monstrosity; deals 1 damage/round to everything in earshot, armor does not defend against it; slowly damages all inanimate objects nearby 

    Brazen Herald: stooped and lanky and made of brass and leather. Wears an apparatus of ropes and hooks and springs that it uses to yank itself across the district. It possesses a thunderous voice, which it uses to report the location of interlopers to all that can hear. 

    HP: 6
    Armor: 1
    Damage: d6+1 melee/d6 ranged
    Ability: Can launch a harpoon or grappling hook at will, towards a wall, ledge, or enemy. Can try to pull struck enemies towards it, but may find itself pulled by strong or heavy targets. 

    Argent Diluvium: serpentine figure of silver wire and filigree. Generally lives in the canals and sewers of Paradise, but when it winds its way onto land, can summon a temporary flood of seawater.

    HP: 10
    Armor: 2
    Damage: d6+1
    Ability: Submerse the immediate area in 10 feet of seawater, even when it should immediately drain away. The barrier between flooded area and dry land is a gradually thickening mist of brine. 

    Golden Rapture: human skeletons wrapped with golden wire; fly overhead on peacock wings. Can create Chimaerical Servitors from nearby refuse, as well as incapacitate with false visions of Providence.

    HP: 8
    Armor: 2
    Damage: d6 (beams of golden light)
    Ability: summon Chimaerical Servitors (1 at a time); stun for 1 round target that fails Wisdom check

    Witches and Killers

    Warlocks
    1. Ravenous Brod was once an emperor, but sold his domain to Death so that he might hold power over the undead. Now he travels the world, undying, attended by an entourage of gorgeously mummified eunuchs as he buys and sells objects of great rarity and puissance.

    2. Witch Boy is an abandoned feral child who stumbled into prodigious arcane power when he sold his old age to a nightmare. Now he holds court over an array of diabolical entities, which attend to him in his forest hideaway with terrified, fawning respect. He wants for nothing but parents.

    3. Agony Aunt was a spinster in a past life, but a bandit raid left her homeless, without family, and all too aware of the limitations of domesticity. Now she keeps a witch’s heart in a jar of formaldehyde and feeds it lost souls and drops of blood  in return for spells. She willing to provide magical services in return for favors, but possesses a political sensibility that could politely be described as traditional and accurately described as reactionary.

    4. The Child of the Final Gate is a young woman who pawned her memory to the Hour of Midnight. She commands the forces of dark and dream and sleep and seeks the reason she desired such power in the first place. Her magic fails in daylight.

    5. Candletongue branded his tongue with the 4th Syllable of the Name of Providence. He operates out of an abandoned cathedral on behalf of the Archangel of War, hunting demons and undead and heretics. He possesses a hatred of deviants, heathens, foreigners, idolaters, and, inexplicably, horses.

    6. Jon the Not is the inverse remnants of the man who pledged his quiddity to the Sans Seraph. He looks like a photo negative and can create silences, shadows, pauses, and voids. He wishes nothing more than to tear his long-dead love out of history so she can reside with him endlessly in anti-time.

    7. Sir Gnomon made a demon of clocks his liege. Now he has gears turning in his flesh, and cannot rest or change or forget. His armor is impenetrable, but he must keep all the dreams he doesn’t have locked up in a coffer lest they overwhelm him.

    8. Vermin Festival traded his guts for a loyal swarm of rats. During the day, they rest in his body, multiplying and whispering secrets, while at night, they go forth and do his bidding. He is a gourmet of pestilence, and each rat in his body is infected with a different, horrible disease.

    Assassins
    1. Scarlet Deluxe is steel golem in the shape of a woman and covered with red enamel. It was once a slave, but swore an oath to never serve without recompense. It can unfold its limbs into all manners of strange weapons and devices, and will accept ancient blueprints and schematics as payment.

    2. Tee To Tum is a giant and a madman; his mother was a princess, but he wants blood above all else. He likes to hide in (relatively) small spaces to surprise his prey, and he only kills with his teeth.

    3. Regular Davis is utterly unremarkable and seemingly without history. His victims always die in gruesome public accidents.

    4. The Terrible Terrier is a small brown dog with the mind of a man and is guilty of the most heinous of crimes. He favors killing with exotic poisons, and thought his fees are outrageous, who is going to believe any witnesses?

    5. Teefs has horns like a goat and likes to push her victims from high places. She keeps the ghosts of everyone she has killed in a burlap sack, and covets the ghost of a true monarch more than anything.

    6. Odile is possessed by a malicious, cursed undine and can transform into a swan. She is terrified of water, for she can only kill or be killed through drowning.

    7. Suspira is almost completely undetectable, for she can only be seen through windows and doorways. Her breath carries a terrible poison, and rumor has it she is building a ship of immense size, surpassing luxury, and unknown purpose.

    8. The Hunter wears animal costumes to get close to his victims and kills with a brazen sickle. Some say he has made friends with the druids, and all know he murders those who speak his true name.